Oh Bullocks! We've Swapped Bodies!
by Strider Song
Summary: Jane and Roxy pull a prank on Dirk and Jake. Will they learn more about eachother than what the other's body looks like? Multi-chapter. BoyxBoy Smut, don't like don't read. Yeah, this'll be fun! Note: this is my first fic so reviews for improvement are more than welcome!
1. Prologue

~Prologue~

"Janeeeeeey! tish is goin to be totes hilarros!" Roxy said, drunk and bubbly as ever.

Jane sighed. She knew that this would indeed be funny, but it was also a little... disturbing.

"Roxy, are you so sure that this won't cause any..._permanent _damage?" Jane asked tentatively.

"Oh Janey, you woryr too mchu!" Roxy babbled, lightly nipping her girlfriend's ear.

Jane smiled lightly and kissed Roxy's nose.

"Seriously though, dear. This won't hurt anyone, will it?"

"Naaaah Janey. And besiiiiiides! How else will we get those two together? They both loooooooovey eachother!" Roxy said, giggling madly.

"I don't know, perhaps tell the two of them that the other likes them?" Jane said under her breath, knowing it wouldn't do any good trying to convince her.

Roxy had, in a sober fit of insanity, made a machine that would swap the bodies of any two people you specified. In this case, they were going to swap the bodies of their two best friends, Jake and Dirk, and get them together, not changing them back until "they fukuck eachhoter so hard they scream their namse to the cielnig"

Jane knew there were better ways to do this, much much better ways. But Roxy was quite proud of this machine and since her birthday was coming up, she decided to humor her as a present. (The present other than a cake and some nice makeouts, of course.)

Jane and Roxy together hit the button and watched as the lights went off.

"If this does something wrong I'm blaming you, dear." Jane said, sweetly but surely, leaning her head on Roxy's shoulder.

"If tihs does somethin' wrong il'l laugh my ass off as thye attempt to go through leif in their crushefs boyd"

And with that, they went to bed, giggling and apprehensive for the fun they'd pull with these two tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 1

You wake up and the first thing you notice is that you've got a boner, it's much brighter than it should be, and your bed sheets are not yours.

"Where in blazes am I-?" you start to say, before clapping a very calloused hand that isn't yours over your mouth.

You just said that in a Texan accent.

"What the devil?" You say as you get out of bed. Yup. You've got a boner and you have no idea why. You decide to get up and have a look around. You find that, based off of the various things about the room and along the walls: not only are you Texan suddenly, you are a very _specific _Texan.

You are suddenly none other than Dirk Strider, and you are very curious indeed as to why you have a boner.

You then again notice that everything is brighter than it should be and you decide to go over to a mirror to see your eyes, knowing that you'd always been curious to see what they looked like; Dirk never showed you his eyes.

By god his eyes were bloody ORANGE.

However his eyes were also warm and loving, like a sunset or a campfire. Why would he ever want to hide such beautiful eyes?

Is he scared of what people would think, because they're orange? Why would anyone care?

Suddenly feeling your new dick grow flaccid, you become very curious again...

Thinking that no one would ever be able to know about this, and it having been a fantasy of yours for a while you just walk in front of the tall mirror again and lower his/your boxers and-

Holy mother of God he is HUNG.

It's not as girthy as yours, but it is pretty close, and it is a little longer than yours and, oh my god what happened?

A sudden thought occured to you then, if you were in Dirks body, did that mean that he was in-

Oh god he was going to wake up in your body, in your room, your art of the two of you on the walls.

Without a second thought you found some jeans, a t-shirt he wears a lot, good god it even smells like him, his leather jacket, some shoes and, out of courtesy, (can't stop being a gentleman just because you're in a different body now) his signature anime shades.

You threw all of this on and flew down the stairs to the street, barreling through town towards your own apartment.

****************************************** Be Dirk*********************************************************************

You wake up and you suddenly can't see a damn thing.

You also notice that your arms and legs are shorter and your hair feels weird. Weird as in it is a different texture altogther. Not as soft as normal, more coarse and untamed.

You reach for your night stand only to find that it is covered in a bunch of shit that you don't own.

"What the fuck-?"

You freeze. What the fuck? That was not your voice. You're a Texan damn it, hide your accent as you might, you were Texan.

However the voice you just spoke with sounded more British...

Wait...

You reach on the table and find what seem to be a pair of rectangular framed glasses...

Oh fuck.

You put on the glasses and, sure enough, you are in Jake's room. You remember from the times where the two of you would video chat, that Avatar poster seals it. Seals it tighter than the lid of a jar that was just screwed on by a body builder.

You ditch the metaphor and start walking around the room, a little offset by the pile of guns and all of the dried saliva on the posters.

Jesus, English, get a life.

You realized that you had to go to the bathroom and obliged with your new body a little too willingly.

So what if you had a major crush on Jake English and had jerked off to fantasies of what his dick would look like and feel like, and now you would both see and feel just that; you/Jake had to pee damn it.

You sauntered over to what you assume is the bathroom and lift the seat, undo your pajama bottoms and...

Holy shit...

Just...wow...

You spend the whole time relieving your/Jake's-self staring at the massive dick in your hands

It's just... huge... damn it's not like anything you could ever have fantasized about.

After a bit you realized you had finished and you pull your pajamas back up.

You feel relieved and wash your hands.

You then spent the next half hour looking around the room, but you stopped when you went to one side of the wall and found...

"My god, does he...?" You said in his voice.

All over that portion of the wall he had drawings of the two of you. Some obviously from when he was a child, but some was very recent. The quality of his art was so... amazing. He obviously hand-drew it too, jesus. Did he really think about you this way? He had to, didn't he. He wouldn't draw stuff like this if he didn't. He never lets anyone in his apartment, so why would he keep stuff like this if no one saw it and he didn't feel like this.

It was getting too warm in here.

You decided being in Jake's pajamas was possibly the cause and that wearing them had gone on far enough and went to his drawers, finding only one pair of skinny jeans and everything else was shorts. You took the jeans and his favortie t-shirt and jacket and threw them on. You looked in the mirror and saw Jake, but you know it's you.

You were really wondering how Jake was taking this, assuming he was switched into your body, he might be a little freaked ou-

"Dirk! Dirk if you're in there looking like me open up!" said your voice, Texan accent much thicker than normal, fist banging on the door, hard.

Yup, he was freaking out.


	3. Chapter 2

"For fuck's sake Jake shut the hell up. We're going to be figured out a mile away if you act like that in my body." Dirk-in-your-body said. He had his/your hand over your/his mouth. You were confused, you didn't know what he meant by acting 'like that.'

"Whap doof you meanmph?" you asked, muffled by his/your hand.

"English. Do I _ever _yell and scream, banging on doors and freaking out?" he said, slightly irritated at your obliviousness.

"Ohp..." you responded.

"You ready to act like me Jake...? Good." He said, taking his/your hand off of your/his mouth.

"Sorry mate. Say, do you have any damn clue as to why we've switched bodies like this?" You say, trying hard to hide your new Texan accent and failing miserably.

"Well, no. I have no fucking clue as to why you are in my body, and I'm in yours. However I must say, this morning was interesting. Your room is pretty cool." he said.

You froze, hopefully not too visibly, but did that mean that he had had a good look around? Did he do what you did and-

"How so? I don't see anything cool about my room, nope nope nope." You say, much less than suavely.

"Nah, it's a really cool room. Those posters are of movies that aren't too fantastic, but the art you have is really damn cool." he says, shrugging and flopping down on your bed.

';AJF;LHGOPSGOJVBUPERGOB ?' your brain is screaming at you. He saw your art. He likes it.

"My... my what? art? wh-what are you...talking...about?" You stutter. Oh my does Dirk stuttering sound very sexy- no. No. NO. You can't have thoughts like that now.

He immediately throws a particular favorite piece of yours at you. One of you two kissing on your bed.

"That art, stupid." he says. To anyone else the face that was previously yours but is now being controlled by Dirk would have looked stoic, but you could see the tips of his ears flushed pink.

You immediately look away and are trying to figure out what in fuck you should say, when suddenly your phone rings.

By your phone you mean the one that is on your original body, so Dirk, the one _currently _in your body picks it up.

"Hello, Jake English, who is this?" He says, mimicking how you pick up a phone quite precisely.

"Oh my gshooooooooooo! we souhld toltaly...totlaly...tortellini... fuck it! we should totlaly hang out toayd!" you hear from the other end of the phone.

Oh what in the devil-fuckin-dickens does Roxy want to hang out with us for? Especially now...

***************************************Be Dirk*************************

"Roxy, love, you are obviously too drunk to call anyone at this moment." You hear as Jane is trying to get the phone away from roxy.

"What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ist mah birhtyad today! Janeey giev me th hpooooooooooooone!"

"No Roxy, go get some water and sit down please." Jane said, a tad exasperated.

"I DON'T WANNAAANNAAAAAAAAAAA! !" Roxxy shouted, sounding quite like a baby at this point.

"So sorry about that, Jake. She woke up this morning before me and somehow thought it would be a fabulous idea to immediately have a beer." Jane said, calming a bit.

'I idd not you liaaar ist mah birthday-ha-haaaaaaaaaaay!' Roxy sobbed in the background.

Good Grief.

"Oh, and how is the lovely birthday girl this morning?" You reply, chuckling to yourself at the dumbfounded expression Jake is giving you whilst in your body.

"Oh aside from drunk she is just dandy, Jake. Anyway what she meant by 'hanging out' was that she would like to invite you to our apartment this evening to celebrate her turning 21. She is now _legally_ allowed to drink this much. Isn't it great?" She said, sarcasm dripping off the last sentence. You smirk in approval.

You can see Jake waving at you for you to decline. Obviously he is a little skeptical at your abilities to pull this off.

You ignore him quite effectively.

"Oh well that just sounds jolly good! We'll be there when?" You reply, Jake looking as if he'll pass out.

"Oh you can come over any time. How about in an hour, if you choose? And we?" She asks.

"Well Dirk's here too. So since the two of us aren't doing anything as of the moment, we'll be over there then in an hour or so!"

"See you two soon!" She says, giggling as she hangs up.

After about a minute or two of shocked silence Jake finally pipes up.

"What in the love of FUCK was that all about?" He says, your Texas accent making his frustration comical.

"Come on dude. It's Roxy's BIRTHDAY. My sister is turning 21, and frankly she really doesn't like it when her friends miss her birthdays. We're going." You say, not as a question.

"But... But... won't they figure us out? Won't they find out?" He says.

"Oh I'm sure they will. But maybe then they could help us figure out what happened and if it can be fixed." you reply.

Unable to come up with a better comeback or solution, he submits.

You help him practice being you, though you need no practice being him, and half an hour later you two are out the door headed to your sister's house.

Tonight is going to be interesting indeed, especially with the plan you've got up your sleeve.


	4. Chapter 3

"Oh my goooooooooooood jaaaaaaaney we are so maeeeeeeeeeeeeen!" Roxy babbled, setting up dinner and joking with Jane. They were being so mean to the boys.

Dirk and Jake had arrived about a half hour ago, and it was obvious that Dirk (meaning Jake in Dirk's body) had no idea what he was doing. There was emotion showing on Dirk's face, and that was something that Dirk never did.

Roxy had to give Jake (meaning Dirk in Jake's Body) some credit though. He must have really known jake well. He laughed the way that Jake laughed and at the right times. He used his talking pattern and used the same old-timey words. This uy knew his stuff. However, Roxy knew more, and planned to give them shit for it.

"Oh come now, dear, let me help! It's your birthday dinner, you shouldn't be the one making it!" Jane said.

"No Janey I got dis. I kno what I'm doign. You help out the boys, and get them to be funny wiht each other. It'll be fun seein what they do." Roxy said, adding her signature *wonk* at the end.

Jane lightly chuckled and pecked Roxy on the cheek before heading back to the living room.

*************Be Jake************************

Your name is Jake and you are not happy with the current situation at all. You're not doing a very good job of pretending to be Dirk, though he seems to be doing a fucking FABULOUS job of being you, and you are certain, **certain**, that Roxy and Jane know something.

You speak up when Jane gets up to go talk to Roxy.

"Dirk." You whisper.

"What, English?"

"Should we tell, them? It's a bit difficult being you and I'm darn sure that they suspect something is different."

You could just see Dirk pondering something when you suggest this, but he agrees.

"Sure English, we'll tell them."

You are very relieved, but you can't help but think that Dirk is up to something too.

"However, I have to go the bathroom first." He says in your body.

You freeze for the second time today. Oh my does that mean he's going to...?

"I'm sorry ladies, but I need to use the rest-room.I'll be right back." He says, as you stare at him, terrified.

*****************Be Dirk********************************************

Your name is Dirk and you are the equivalent of a sly bastard right now.

You agreed to tell Roxy and Jane that you and Jake had switched bodies, but only because it would make your plans go a little bit faster anyway.

However right now you are in the bathroom, simultaneously peeing and playing with Jake's dick. It's quite interesting really. You can think you're jerking off Jake's dick, but you are getting the feel of jerking off your own. It really is different.

You can only feel sad that You aren't able to just pin him down and fuck him right now, but that will have to wait until later.

You finish with a very quiet and swallowed moan and zip up your pants. You wash your hands and make your way outside.

Jake is staring at you with your own piercing orange eyes, and you sit down next to him.

"So... Roxy... Jane..." he starts a bit awkwardly. Damn, he has no idea what he's doing.

"Yes Dirk-y?" Roxy replies, winking at you. Okay, Jake was right, they know something, or at least Roxy knows something.

"Well... This is the thing... it looks like I am Dirk, and he is Jake right? But... But... er.. golly..." he stutters. For fuck's sake Striders don't stutter.

"Jake and I have switched bodies and we were wondering if you two knew how to turn us back." You cut in, hoping to speed things along.

"Err... yeah." He finishes.

For some unknown reason you had thought that one of them would be helpful or sympthatetic, but instead, the first words that come out of Roxy's mouth are:

"Oh, so you havin' fun playin' wid eachhotter's cocks or waht?" Roxy chuckles, taking a swig of whatever the hell she' drinking.

Jake is losing it.

"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING ROXY, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, THAT IS SUCH AN UNCOUTH THING TO SAY-"

"Yes." You cut in.

Jake blinks for a moment, and then stares you down with your orange eyes some more.

He finally finds his voice and he is... you don't even know what he is, he's just all over the place at this point.

"You... WHAT? IS THAT WHY YOU WERE TAKING SO LONG IN THE BATHROOM? WHY I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE THE NOTION TO BE AT LEAST SLIGHTLY GENTLEMANLY ABOUT THIS BUT INSTEAD YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY DICK ON YM BODY AND... AND... ORTYO[EQVRHYINIWUQRGLKBSEHY" He just loses his sentence around there as you throw a pillow at him mid-rage attack.

"Calm down" You say,.

"I can't help it if suddenly I'm put in the body of my crush and suddenly his beautifully massive dick is there for me to play with." You say.

He is screaming into the pillow you hit him with, and you think that you have gone a bit too far with this... until you see Roxy and Jane snickering, trying to recooperate themselves when they see you looking at them.

They have something to do with this.

"Well obviously, some-popes need to go back and have nice makeouts with eachother, so imma just eastcoast you to the door and you can be on yuor way...escort, sorry." she says, giggling.

Jake admits defeat when Roxy pulls him up by the shoulder and you by the arm and does indeed take you to the door.

'This is going to be fun.' you think.

*********************One half hour walk later***********************

You are Jake and you just went to the most mortifying party ever and are now about 12 feet away from your friend Dirk's apartment.

He unlocks the door and you walk inside. You immediately take off the sunglasses and flop down on the couch. This was just too much in one day.

"Jeez, Jake. If I didn't know better I'd say you weren't happy." Dirk says.

"That may or may not be because I woke up in your body, went to our friends' house and humiliated myself, and oh, right, I FOUND OUT YOU WERE JERKING ME OFF!" you scream.

"Way way woah. It's not like you weren't staring at my dick this morning when you woke up." He's got a point there, you think.

"And besides, I wasn't jerking you off. _I _was jerking off with _your_ dick. Two completely different things." he corrects.

You lay flat and grunt, annoyed and exhausted.

"However..." he says before walking across the floor and sitting down in front of you.

"If you _want _me to jerk you off, that is certainly a thing that can happen..." he says, after sitting you up and unbuttoning your pants.

Wait... WHAT?

It sinks in fully after about a second and by that time he has his hands on your balls. Sure they aren't _yours, _per-say, but you sure as hell could feel them.

Thing is, you couldn't say no. You had wanted this for a while, and even if this was very VERY strange circumstances, you couldn't pass up a chance like this.

"D-di-dirk..." you moan as he's palming you some more, sitting up higher so he can kiss you.

Wow, this is one heck of a day indeed.

*****************Be Jane*****************

Your name is Jane and you REALLY shouldn't be watching this.

However, seeing as it's your girlfriend's birthday you stay for her.

You and Roxy are sitting in front of a really incredible machine. The machine is hooked up to a television screen so that one may see what is happening to the two people who have switched bodies.

Your name is Jane and you and your girlfriend are watching live porn of your two best friends, who are in each-other's body, and the two of you are eating pop-corn.

"I must say, this didn't take nearly as much time as I thought." You share with Roxy.

"You have absolutely no faith in my abilities, do you Janey." she says, eating another handful of popcorn.

"On the bright-side for them, we can change them back tonight, and thing's will go back to normal again." You muse.

"Ohooohoo no. If my brother is the least bit as sly as me, which he most indeededly is, he is going to take this further... MUCH further, after they're in their own bodies." Roxy says.

"Hmmmm. We'll see." You say as you take some popcorn yourself and start to take interest in wht you're watching.


	5. Chapter 4

Your name is Dirk and you are the most sly dog of all the sly dogs.

You took a situation in which you are in Jake's body, and now you are somehow palming your own balls, getting the reaction Jake would give,because it is Jake in your body.

The sounds that come out of your mouth don't suit the voice well. You can only imagine what the sounds would sound like coming out of Jake's mouth.

Unable to control yourself anylonger you pull his/your pants all the way down to his knees, and start blowing the boy in front of you, giving you the eerie feeling of taking the term 'go fuck yourself' a tad bit too seriously.

You undo your current pants and start feeling yourself as you take the cock in front of you in and out of your mouth.

Jake is making your body gasp, and it is beautiful. You are about to make him climax, when something very strange happens.

You black out and fall to the ground.

********************Be Roxy************************

"Roxy! What are you doing? In the middle of this? You are so mean!" Jane is yelling at you.

The fucks you give are nowhere to be found.

On the screen, you see Jake giving Dirk a blowjob. However you _know _that it is actually Dirk in Jake's body who is giving Jake in Dirk's body the blowjob.

You decide to be mean/nice and switch them into their own bodies again. Jane is yelling at you because this was the 'most awful time' for that.

"Quite down you. Tish is teh bestest time for this beacuse they get to feel these thigns in their own bodieses." You say.

Besides, it's your birthday, you'll do whatever the fuck you want.

Jane sits down in defeat and watches as you hit the button, making them black out. Dirk (Jake's Body) was on his knees, so he fell to the ground. The other just flopped on the couch.

"Think about it Janey, I'm makin their sexy-sex-time more enjoybabble for the two of them. I'm bein' nice!" You reply to her pouting.

"I guess you're right. Shall we focus our attention back on them?" She asks, grabbing the bowl of pop-corn again.

****************Be Jake*****************************

Your name is Jake and what the heck just hapened? You wake up and you are on the floor, glasses skidded off somewhere, and your pants are down. Dirk is on the couch, sunglasses askew, cock erect and pants at his knees.

You blush harder than you have tonight, because you are sure _**you **_were the one who was about to go over the edge with Dirk licking your cock up. Only Dirk was in your body, and you in his.

You have to say, it's a relief being in your own body again.

Dirk is slowly waking up, and he sees your glasses are off, and he immediately throws his own shades somewhere off in a direction.

"I want to see you better." he says, no sign of nervousness in his voice.

In a manner of seconds, you are the one on the couch, and dirk is over you, erection hitting your thigh, and hands on either side of your head. He straddles you and effectively rubs your cocks together.

You groan, something low and rumbling from the back of your throat, and Dirk smiles.

"That, was beautiful." he says, no hint of irony anywhere.

You decide you want to make an effort at being seductive or sly, and say:

"Expect more beautiful things than that, Strider. I expect likewise from you."

Okay, not the most suave thing, but Dirk practically purrs when you say that, and he rolls his hips into yours.

You full out moan, right there. This causing him to moan, and he latches his mouth to your neck, sucking and nipping it.

After leaving two or three hickeys, he licks over them and starts humping you, causing you to become hard to full arousal.

He gets up (much to your dick's disapproval) and grabs the condoms and lube. You freeze when you see it, but you just can't help but feel a bit... hopeful.

Dirk puts the things on the side-table, but goes back over to you.'

***********************Be Dirk*************

You are Dirk again and you have just gotten some condoms and lube.

Oh yeah, you also have your pants around your ankles and are rubbing dicks with your crush of the longest time, Jake English.

Jake is currently panting and huffing, mewling in displeasure.

You decide to satisfy him more and grab his dick in your hand. He gasps at the sudden pressure, but after a second or two, he is bucking into your hand.

"Hunh. And to think, forty-five minutes ago you were angry that I was playing with your dick." you remark, giving a particularly hard squeeze. He gasps before replying.

"Ahhhh! W-will you just shut your beautiful mouth and make me cum all over your couch?" he screams.

Well. Someone's eager.

You oblige and squeeze harder and faster, making him wimper and moan under the grip of your calloused dj hands.

"Ahh...Ahh... AHHHN! D-Dirk...ahhhh..." He breathes.

"Yes Jake?" you reply, obviously trying to torture him at this point.

"I..I ho-hope you don't mind my cum being all over your cou-couch cause.. cause.. AHHHN!" He says, releasing with a moan.

You bite your lip trying to hold back a moan as you watch this form of beauty, sweating and moaning, his release all over your hand and couch.

Jake is still panting when he's finished, and he sort of just relaxes on your couch, shirt and jacket sticking to him by his own sweat.

You take the shirt off of him, kissing his lips and swallowing the pants coming out of him.

He ruts his hips up against you and finds that you still have a boner, and have not released.

He picks you up by the hips - damn he's strong - and has you sitting on his chest. He takes your cock into your mouth, quite effectively too.

He eventually gets his throat to relax and he has you tip to base in his mouth. He starts sucking, bobbing his head, humming, and kissing your balls.

Put simply: you don't last very long.

You have to give Jake credit; he swallowed all of your cum and continued sucking you off until he was sure you were done.

After a few minutes of you lying on Jake's chest, you pick him up bridal style and carry him to your bed, where you two fall asleep quite quickly.

Today was a good day.

*************Be Jane**************************

Your name is Jane and you're not sure if it's the alcohol in your sytem or the outstanding show that you just witnessed, but you are standing up and clapping when they go to bed.

"Roxy! Roxy Roxy Roxy! They did it! And it was wonderful! You're a genius Roxy!" You scream, clapping and jumping and giggling.

Roxy was starting to sober up and picked _you_ up bridal style, and carries you to the bed you share.

She undresses you down to your bra and undies, and tucks you in.

"Nightey night Janey." She whispers softly as she kisses your forehead lightly. She gets into pajamas and crawls into her side of the bed and the two of you are asleep in minutes as well.

**Hey guys! There was the first round of porn for you. Yaaaaaaaaaay! I have more coming, so don't think I'll let you guys get bored. Also, since I haven't said it yet: Jake, Dirk, Roxy, and Jane, as well as their personalities are belonging to Andrew Hussie. Had to cite him somwhere.**

**Anyway, glad you enjoy and remember to review! c:**


	6. Chapter 5

Your name is Jake and you are waking up in Dirk's room, in Dirk's bed, with Dirk's arm around your stomach.

You then suddenly remember everything that happened the night before, and instead of being mortified, it just brings a smile to your face.

Because everything you had been thinking about for the longest time, had happened just yesterday.

Dirk starts to stir and he immediately hugs you after he's woken up.

"Mornin' sweety. Sleep wale?" He says.

You have now just learned two things.

One: His hair isn't always amazing. He has the absolute worst hair at the current moment, and it is, quite frankly, very adorable.

Two: He gives absolutely no shits about his accent when he is piss tired.

You take a second to just lay there, nuzzled in his embrace.

"Yeah, I slept pretty fabulously for someone who had sex with their crush."

Wait, what did you just say?

You can feel Dirk freezing behind you for a second, but then he just holds you tighter and nuzzles his face into your neck.

"Glad to hear it. You know, if you want we can do something again tonight." He says without a glitch.

Your dick takes a certain appreciation to this and starts pounding, causing you to squirm.

"Well. I'm feeling just the slightest bit sticky and gross from last night's adventuring so I'm going to go take a shower." You say.

Dirk nods and takes his arm out from around you. He lies back and closes his eyes.

You take this as a 'coast is clear' and get up, half-masting erection not seen by the half-conscious Dirk.

You take off your shorts and underwear and step into the shower.\

***************Be Dirk****************

Your name is Dirk and you just woke up after a nice night of blowjobs and rubbing dicks.

You wake up and your arm is around Jake, who you soon find out is awake as well.

Your hair looks awful and your accent is showing, but at this point you just don't give a fuck.

He says he needs to shower and you let him go.

You lay back and pretend to close your eyes, but you very _very_ slightly open your eyes, giving you a fuzzy view of Jake's half-hard dick.

Once he's in the shower you can't help but chuckle to yourself.

'Wow, just the very thought of having sex with me makes him get a boner.' You think to yourself.

You then have a sudden thought that makes your eyes grow wide and your breath grow short.

Jake's a virgin.

"_Shit!_" You hiss to yourself.

You didn't think he would be, seeing how attractive and polite he is. He should be getting all the babes.

Not to say you don't get all the babes too; you're just the gay one.

You get out of bed and start pacing, feeling quite gross yourself.

"Hey Jake!" You holler.

"Yes Dirk?" he replies through the shower.

"Can I get in the shower after you?" You ask.

"You can get in right now if you do so please!" He says.

Well then.

You take off your boxers and hop into the bathroom.

You see Jake's entire figure, no jackets or thick cargo shorts muddling its beauty.

Your eyes grow wide at the sight.

You open the glass door and grab his middle again.

He jumps, but immediately smiles and sinks into the touch.

"I see you're happy to see me as much as I am to see you." he says, rubbing back into you.

His ass against your dick is a bit much, and you accidentally rut against it.

Jake, taking a bit more initiative than he did yesterday (minus that blow-job, holy fuck-balls that was fantastic) pins you against the wall of your shower, hips against yours, chest against yours, legs wrapped around yours, and lips crushed oh so sweetly against yours.

Your legs are shaking, not from nervousness, but from the pure lust that is running through you at this moment.

You moan into his mouth, and you can feel him smiling against you.

He's thrusting against you, causing you in turn to become quite hard in a manner of seconds.

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaake" You moan aloud after he removes his mouth to suck on your neck.

This angle of his head allows you to get a good look of his neck, where you see the three hickeys you gave him the night before. You can't help but think that this is going to be some form of pay-back.

He moves his mouth once again back to your lips, and moves his left hand to your dick.

The thrusting, the entanglement, the hickeys, and now the jerk-off... it's all too much for you.

You come to your climax quickly once again and you don't stop moaning until a minute or two afterwards.

Jake isn't finished with you yet, though.

He turns you around, grabs your right arm, and pushes it against your back as he presses your face against the opposite wall.

"Jake...? What're you-?" You start.

"I felt that last night wasn't quite... _enough_." He whispers into your ear, causing you to shudder.

Out of the corner of your eye you see that Jake has a weird... _glint_ in his emrald eyes that you've never seen before.

He takes his left hand and covers his dick with water. He uses his left hand then to quickly stretch you, causing you to scream in the least manly way possible.

He takes his fingers out of you and lines up the tip of his dick with your entrance, and you brace yourself and not a second later you're completely filled.

"Jake, Jake, Jake, it hurts, too much, ow, take it out, take it out." You're blabbering. You just can't take this all at once. You went from empty to over-full in a second and his dick is just so damn..._huge._

He turns the water up a bit, causing more steam, and he holds onto you.

"Shh. Sh sh sh shhhh. You've got to relax Dirk." He whispering to you.

You take a deep breath and unclench your ass. You feel a bit better and the two of you just stay put like that for a few minutes, allowing you to adjust to his size.

After a while the pain has gone away and you start rutting your hips against him.

"You c-can move English." You pant out.

He starts out slowly (thank god) and calmly, kissing your cheek lightly as you're panting.

He leans you over the slightest bit and, given the new angle, is hitting a certain sweet spot of yours, causing you to scream.

"Ah AH AHHHHHHHHH! JAAKE~!"

He hits that spot over and over, and you can't even see anything, it's just fuzzy in front of your eyes.

You release with a yell, jizz immediately washed away down the drain (shit, you're gonna have to clean that out later) and it's not long before you can feel Jake's own release inside of you.

Even though it wasn't your first, it still felt _**way**_ better than the first few times before him.

Jake pulls out of you, and immediately falls backwards, sitting down against the wall.

You crouch over him, still panting, and hold his face up.

His eyes (which were an electric green just previously) are now their usual dull emerald.

"You okay, Jake?" you ask, a little worried.

*********************Be Jake************

Your name is Jake, and you just ass-fucked Dirk. (You assume you can call him your boyfriend, but for the time being you won't.)

You had no control over this, however, you just knew that you were doing it.

"Jake? Jake! You okay bro?" Dirk asks you, worriedly.

"What... what color were my eyes when I was fucking you?" you ask.

"Some sort of bright green..." he responds.

Oh fuck... only now we have to make sure...

"And now?" you ask tentatively.

"S-some sort of dull emerald." he says.

Oh fuck.

_Oh FUCK!_

You'd known for a while now that sometimes you'd get... _urges_... to do things that normally you wouldn't do. Most of the times these urges were sex related. Before, you'd just jack-off but now, since you had an eager friend who was suggesting it anyway, your body took over.

You looked down to the floor and saw the water had just the slightest rosy hue.

You hurt him.

You had physically _hurt_ him.

You ran out of the shower, got your clothes on, and ran out the door, sounds of Dirk screaming "Jake! Wait! WAIT DAMMIT!" being ignored as you fled.


	7. Chapter 6

Your name is Dirk and you are currently running through town to find the boy who just fucked you.

And, having just been fucked, your ass hurts like a _bitch_.

So, running through town, you go to where Jake always goes when he's pissed and needs to chill.

He goes to a very loud and very busy Starbucks and sits in the corner.

You spend about twenty minutes looking around town, seeing no sign of Jake in any of them.

Finally, you find one and in the corner, you see someone reading the paper.

Only that someone reading the paper has Jake's favorite hiking boots on and his favorite watch.

You go into the Starbucks and get a Venti iced what-the-fuck-ever and go to the corner to wait.

The gentleman 'reading the paper' does not stir when you come toward him.

You sigh.

"Jake, calm down and please talk to me."

He doesn't show his face but he does give you his hand.

You take it and squeeze it caringly. As much as you try to put on a mask of apathy, to those you care about... you care.

After a moment you realize it's shaking slightly and it's slightly damp.

You grab the top of the newspaper and pull it away, revealing Jake English, not even moving visibly, tears pouring out of his eyes.

Oh shit.

"You know, I've always hated the fact that no matter how upset you are you always cry silently." You say, worry apparent in your eyes.

He looks at you with those dark and dull emerald eyes, glistening with tears, and throws his arms around you.

You pull him off of you and wipe the tears off of his face with your left thumb, and grab his arm, not causing any pain at all (mother-fuck that is the worst thing you could do right now) and drag him back to your apartment.

*************Be the Piece of Shit***********

You are not a piece of shit, but you feel like you are. You are Jake English and you are being escorted back to Dirk's home.

You are placed down on the couch as a pile of blankets and pillows is formed.

Once said pile is formed, you are lifted and put in the center of it.

This whole time you have not stopped crying.

'Such a manly adventurer' you think to yourself.

It is quite a cozy pile, but when Dirk lies in it next to you, you can't bring yourself to look at him.

"Jake." He says sternly. "What's wrong?"

You still can't do it.

You can't look at him.

"Jake." No, you won't look.

"_Jake..._" He says.

"_JAKE!" _He shouts.

You choke out a sob.

"W-what...?" You ask, still seeming very interested in the wall behind you.

"Tell me what the fuck is wrong. One minute you are taking me to cloud 9, and the next you're out the door headed for a busy coffee shop."

What the fuck...?

He _liked_ what you did to him?

"B-but... I-I hurt you, Dirk" You sob.

"What are you talking about Jake?" He asks.

"I fucked you like an animal! I hardly prepared you at all! I saw the blood on the shower floor Dirk! I. Fucking. HURT. YOU!"

You try and get up again, try to go to the door, but Dirk is not letting that happen.

You are kicking and screaming now. Dirk is holding you down, arms around you against the pile.

He isn't saying a word.

You continue screaming and crying, Dirk holding you safe.

After a few minutes you've stopped crying and you're basically just shaking.

****************Be Dirk***************

Your name is Dirk and you are holding the most sad person on the planet.

He's stopped kicking and crying, but he's shaking under you.

"You know Jake," you start. He stops and looks at what you think is you.

"I have never known just how messed up you are inside."

You feel the tear on your arm as his hands find your shirt and hold it tight.

"But we'll get this shit sorted out. You got that?" You ask. You wait for him to conclude.

He nods and pulls a stray blanket over himself.

You pull the blanket off of his head and kiss him, sweet and gently.

"You need to know that you're not alone, Jake."

You grabbed a blanket as well and snuggled with him and fell asleep.

You had plans to take care of him already.

Of course you could take care of him.

You _know_ you can take care of him.

You love him.

****************Be Jane************

Your name is Jane and you are staring drop-jawed at your girlfriend Roxy.

3 days ago this was a harmless prank.

12 hours ago this was porn.

And 1 hour ago this turned into something that unearthed problems that the two of you didn't even know about.

You are staring at each other and you both make the decision.

You have to tell the two of them that Roxy caused them to switch bodies, and that the both of you were going to help Dirk in his endeavor to help Jake.

**Hey guys!**

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed (all four of you! yeah!) and don't fear, more is coming.**

**For those of you who thought this fic was going to be mindless smut the whole time, you were wrong.**

**This has plot. All the plot. So much plot you don't even know.**

**So, I have to ask, has my updating been enough to keep you guys entertained? Is one or two chapters *A DAY* enough?**

**It fucking better be.**

**Important note!**

**The genre is going to change from humor/romance to angst/romance.**

**Just a heads up because there's gonne be a bit less humor in this fic now.**

**But yeah, share with people, review, and enjoy! ^_^**


	8. Chapter 7

Your name is Dirk and you are in the car, driving a sleeping Jake to the therapist.

He had had a nervous break down and revealed that he had also had some problems.

Oh, and he believes that he raped you, but you don't think he did, or, at least you want to think that he didn't.

In all truth he did, but you really enjoyed it, and you thought that he did too...

Wow this whole situation is fucked up.

Anyway, you're off to the therapist to see if you can get some help, or meds, or something to help Jake.

You walk in carrying Jake and make an appointment with the therapist.

After waiting for half an hour, damn doctors taking for fucking ever, you walk down a slightly creepily clean hallway.

"Hello, you must be Jake. I'm Dr. Umbra." A nice woman with glasses and sleek, wavy and black hair. She had some lime-green-rimmed glasses and a Caduceus emblem on her coat front.

"Hey. The man I'm holding in my arms is Jake, but _my _name is Dirk." You say, putting Jake down on the weird-ass therapist chair, ignoring Umra's held out hand for a hand-shake.

"Well... what happened?" She asked, seemingly cheery.

***************Be Jake************

You wake up again and you are in a therapist's office, with Dirk talking to a relatively nice woman, who has a British accent, and she seems charming enough. She has pretty glasses that match her eyes, and she has a similarly-lime-green hair-tie on her wrist, which she uses to pull her hair back.

In the middle of tying her hair, she notices that you are awake, and turns to you to smile sweetly.

"Why, hello. Are you feeling alright?" she asks.

Truthfully: NO

"Yes, quite alright, thank you m'lady." You say, almost convincingly.

Almost.

Dirk is looking at you, sort of sad and dissappointed.

"Jake, this is the therapist's office. What you say here could affect how you're treated." he says, sternly.

"Dirk is right, Jake. You should tell the truth here. I'm Dr. Umbra, by the way." she says, sweet but serious.

Dammit.

"All right. I've been having issues where..." you don't know how to phrase it.

But then you see Dirk, and the guilt flows through again. You owe it to him to get better.

"Issues where I get these... urges...sexual urges..." you say, looking away and blushing.

"Ah. Please, tell me more, Jake." Dr. Umbra says, seemingly joyous that he's sharing and taking some notes.

"Well... whenever it happens my eyes... are bright green instead of the dark and dull it is right now."

Dr. Umbra seems slightly astonished.

"Hold on, wait one moment." she says.

She gets up and goes to her book-shelf. She picks up an odd book and flips through it.

"Jake, we're going to run some tests, but my suspicion is that you have a rare form of bipolar disorder."

Well then.

After a few more questions, and several tests, you and Dirk were sent home.

"The results will be back in two weeks. Until then, get plenty of sleep, eat well, and don't go around town or other public places." Dr. Umbra says, giving you a sweet smile.

"Thank you, Ms. Umbra. It's reassuring that whatever my problem is, it's treatable." You say.

"Oh, and Dirk? Could I have a word with you?" she asks, pulling you aside.

You are reluctant, but you look around and see that Jane and Roxy are there, and they take you outside to go home.

*********Be Dirk*******

The sweet therapist pulls you aside and begins talking to you very sweetly, yet very stern and serious.

"Dirk. It is obvious that whatever Jake has is very serious, and you are what I would call... a victim of his condition." She looks at you.

"Dirk, even if you enjoyed it, and you try not to think of it that way, Jake raped you in one of his fits of urge."

You look at the ground, upset, andyour fists clench.

"What I'm saying, Dirk, is that since his parents are no where to be found, his grandmother is incapable of taking care of him in her old age, and he has no siblings, you are going to have to be his guardian. You have to be with him at all times and make sure that he's okay."

You look at her, unclench your fists, and nod.

She smiles, looking as if she's about to say something else, when:

"Oi! Sister! I have been waiting out back for five fucking minutes! Either get your green ass into my car or you can walk it home!" Some asshole with a rose in his jacket, red glasses, and red cufflinks.

Ms. Umbra looks very annoyed indeed.

"Brother! This is a professional facility, you can not go around, busting through doors, and cursing like you do!" She says, _her_ fists clenched now.

"WELL THEN EXCuSE ME FOR TRYING TO MAKE SuRE YOu ACTuALLY GET YOuR SCHEDuLING IN ORDER!"

"Well excuse _**me**_ for trying to put the patient and the people close to him above my own needs!"

You take this as a good time to ollie the fuck outy, and you do so.

Your phone buzzes with "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS-SHOTS-SHOTS-SHOTS!" and you know that you're getting a call from Roxy.

You flip open your phone and try to compose yourself.

"What."

"HEEEEY Dirky! I haev Jakey at your amentpart and he's sleeping in your pile of shit on the floor." She says.

Well, at least you know where they are.

You go to the Starbucks again on the way home and pick up some lattes, an extra ridiculous one for yourself, and head back.

**Hi everyone!**

**I'm glad to see that a bunch of you like this so much (also, a good deal of the reviews are hilarious. Keep that shit up!)**

**As you noticed I included uu and UU, hopefully representing them well enough for you (they belong to hussie too, of course)**

**Anyway, sorry that my extremely fast updating was a bit slower, I haven't had too much of an opportunity to write today due to driving and visiting family.**

**Please share and continue to enjoy! :3**

***Side Note: I know absolute Jack-shit about medical stuff, and my quick wikipedia-ing is not legit at all. Please try not to think too sourly of me because of my ignorance to the neuro-science-study stuff about people's brains. (parden my lack of terminology as well.)**


	9. Chapter 8

Your name is Jake and you are staring out into space as you sit and sip a nice latte.

Also, you may or may not be bipolar. That part sucks.

The part that doesn't suck is that Dirk has his arm around you and is singing to you quietly.

Since his brother wasn't around...ever, he had a lot of babysitters.

Since they were in Texas, the babysitters were Mexican.

Since the babysitters were all Mexican, he learned Spanish.

He learned several Spanish lullabies, of which he was singing a few to you right now.

You may not understand a word he's saying, but it is quite relaxing.

"Hey, Jake." He starts.

Oh no, you don't want to have this conversation. You already know what conversation it's going to be and you don't want to have it.

"You can stop thinking you raped me at any time."

_FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK-OH-FUCK _

You were right. You _**really**_ didn't want to have this conversation.

"B-but... I hurt you, Dirk. I didn't stop when you asked me to! I held you against your will! I...I-" You're silenced by Dirk's lips on your own.

You are upset, but you're sure that Dirk won't change his mind about this.

He legitimately thought that everything was fine.

Therefor, you should too.

But you know, you _KNOW_, that this is going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

But you could at least take comfort that he was okay.

One of you had to be.

He's taking care of you, holding you, loving you.

He loves you.

*********Be Dirk********

Your name is Dirk and you are soothing the possibly most miserable person on the planet.

He is crying in his sleep, if he's sleeping ever.

He has been having episodes more and more often. You make sure he keeps his clothes on when they do happen, but you spend the time of the episodes holding him tight as he's writhing and trying to negotiate with you.

You promised him you wouldn't let anything happen, but it's becoming harder.

As much as you know it's inappropriate, you were really..._really_ tempted to accept his episodes' offer.

No.

Stop that.

In the middle of holding onto him and making sure he's fine, you hear the phone ring.

You gently set him down and get up to go to it.

The caller ID says Umbra somewhere, so you know what's going to happen.

"Hello? Dirk Strider here."You answer.

"Hello, Dirk." the therapist starts.

"Well, we've got good news and bad news."

Well. This is most likely going to suck.

"The bad news?" You ask, hiding your fear pretty damn well, and the crap quality of the phone call makes it seem absolutely normal.

"The bad news is that I was right. Jake has a form of Bipolar disorder."

Dammit.

"OF COuRSE HE HAS BIPOLAR DISORDER, HE'S AS CRAZY AS A HALF-WITTED -" You hear her brother on the other end.

"Brother! Stop yoUr nonsense at once! I am doing bUsiness with a client!" She yells. You can't help but snicker.

"As I was about to say before I was rudely interrupted: The good news is that we have a prescription that should help with his symptoms and end his episodes for the time being. In three months we shall bring him in again to see how he's doing." She says.

This... is pretty damn fantastic news.

He'll be as normal as physically possible in this state.

This is fantastic.

"Hey ass-fucker! This is her brother in case you are so dense as to not be able to tell us apart. Anyway, my sister has broken something against a wall and is cleaning it up. Go to your nearest pharmacy and pick up the meds. I have no idea what they're called. I'm no shrink. Bye tumut!" You hear before he clicks the phone off.

You have to say, for a guy with a charming British accent, he is pretty damn awful.

On the bright side, you're off to the pharmacy with Jake in the car (still wrapped in blankets like he is perpetually) and you pick up his meds.

You give him the first dose and put him to bed, as you grab a book and lie next to him.

You kiss him on the forehead and turn out the light.

Today was quite the positive note of the past month.

**Dirk said it himself: YAY! A happy ending chapter!**

**Anyway, sorry for the slow update today, my internet was borked. ^_^,**

**Share, review, and enjoy! :)**

**(may I just say how hilarious it is writing for the quarreling uu and UU? ergohoeufg so much fun :3 )**


	10. Chapter 9

You could see the difference on Jake immediately.

He didn't have any more episodes, he slept through the night soundly, without crying, and he was his normal old, cheery self again.

"Morning, Dirk!" He greets you one morning where you wake up tired as fuck and he makes you breakfast.

The way you two work together in the kitchen is great, because he only knows how to cook the food that you don't know how to cook, and the same vice versa.

This morning he made you bacon and pancakes with a piece of toast on the side.

Well damn, this was a good day.

"Thanks English." You said before taking a bite of bacon, 'mmmm'-ing at its taste.

He sat across from you with his own plate and you just sat there contentedly, eating and smiling at eachother.

After breakfast the two of you walked through town, buying Jake some new pants and you some new shirts.

It seemed like a damn normal day, but you were horny as fuck, and had a great plan.

You took Jake home for his afternoon nap, and when you were sure he was asleep, you got some belts...

*************Be Jake******

Your name is Jake and you just woke up from your nap wth your arms and legs tied to the bed-posts by some belts.

"What the devil?" you ask, before you look up and see Dirk is standing there, naked, shades off, and condoms in his hand.

"I was wondering if tonight would be a good night to... have some fun." He said, crawling over you.

You feel him...really feel him on you and you become quite hard quite quickly.

"W-why...yes. Tonight **would** a great night for...fun." you say.

He plays with the waistband of your boxers (which are, for some reason, the only things you are wearing) as he kisses you, deeply.

You moan and buck your hips slightly, begging for your boxers to be off.

Alas, they can only go down to your ankles, but that's fine, for now.

He is rubbing his dick against yours and he is moaning softly as well.

"C-c-could y-you.. you kn-know.." you stutter, excited.

He catches your drift and reaches into the side-table drawer, getting the bottle of lube, and lathering some onto his fingers. He sticks one inside of you and moves it around a little.

This is the first time that anything of any sort has been in your ass and the sensation is weird, but you bear with it and wait for it to feel okay.

After a second you nod and he puts another finger in, scissoring you, and you wait once more.

The third finger is added and you feel fine at this point, so Dirk takes his free hand, puts on the condom, lathers more lube on himself, and removes his fingers.

He pushes in slowly, but you nod allowing him to go all the way.

It didn't hurt like you thought it would, it was just...a very different feeling.

You nodded once you got used to it and he rocked back and forth on top of you, allowing his dick to feel the entirety of his insides.

His balls were colliding against yours, his dick was brushing, only lightly, against that sweet spot in you, and you were moaning in desperation.

"D-dirk!" you shout.

"Yes?" He asks, stopping because he's slightly worried.

"For god's sake don't stop! Move faster!" you yell, impatient and rocking against him.

His eyebrows rise a bit and he rocks faster. You turn your body just a little and the change in angle is perfect, allowing him to hit the spot that makes you see stars.

"Ah-AHHH!" you moan.

He hits that spot over and over, and you are loving it.

"D-d-dirk... I-I'm- AAAAH!" you moan, cumming onto your stomach.

Dirk isn't too far behind because your insides clenched and this caused him to cum.

He is panting, still inside of you, and he is riding out both of your orgasms.

"Well...that...was fan...fantastic." you pant, as he pulls out of you, ties up the condom, and throws it away.

"Y-yeah." he says, wrapping his arm around your sticky stomach.

You curl up on him and you nod off quickly.

********Be the one in the after-glow********

Your name is Dirk and that was the best sex ever.

You spent no time getting yourself in him and he wasn't hurt at all...

No one got hurt this time...

You smile to yourself and fall asleep next to him, when an idea comes into your head.

He practically lives here anyway, why shouldn't his stuff live here too?

**YAY! Two chapters in one day again! And there was sex! We like sex!**

**So yeah, just them for this chapter.**

**That's basically it for right now, so review and share!**


	11. Chapter 10

Your name is Jake and you just woke up and went to take a shower.

Last night you had your boyfriend Dirk fuck you, and you've got to say, it was abso-fuckin-lutely splendid.

You get out of the shower and go back to the room.

After getting dressed you go out to the living room and find several card-board boxes sitting on and around the couch.

"That's odd..." you start, when suddenly you see a strip of bright orange outside.

Out in the drive-way is a U-Haul truck, with Dirk in the driver's seat.

"Get in loser, we're moving your shit." He says, smiling.

You hop down-stairs and get in the passenger side of the truck.

"May I ask what exactly you mean when you say we're 'moving my shit'?" You ask him.

"Meaning we're going to your apartment, gathering all your shit, and moving said shit into my apartment." He says as if it was the easiest question to answer.

Your smile becomes very large and your buck-teeth start showing again, which they only do when your smile is hella-big.

"That...that sounds fantastic! I practically live with you anyway." You say, giggling like a school girl whose crush just kissed her on the cheek.

As if he can read your mind, he leans over and kisses your cheek.

He sits back in place and repositions his shades before starting up the car and driving the short ten minutes it takes to get to your house.

"Aight, I have a shit ton of boxes in the back, so let's bring those up there and start gathering all the loose stuff." He says.

"No need to get rid of the structural things, eh?" You confirm.

He nods and picks up a stack of flattened down boxes.

***********Be Dirk*****

You are currently in your boyfriend's apartment, throwing a bunch of loose shit that's everywhere into boxes.

Jake is running around and throwing away all the trash and putting the clothes that neithre of you want or neither of you fit into (you two had made it a habit to just keep all your clothes in one place and where each-other's stuff, because neither of you gave enough of a fuck to separate it) into some trash bags to donate.

Once you have all of the knick-knacks, games, books, and anything else into boxes and securely into the truck, you two work together to get all the furniture and appliances into the truck.

After about 3 hours of hard-work, the two of you had Jake's entire apartment packed up and in the truck.

"Well," he says, sweating.

"That didn't take too much time, now did it." He observes.

You nod but then think for a second.

"You know we're gonna have much more work to do getting it all in my apartment, right?" You say.

"What do you mean?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.

You sigh.

"Well, we only have room/need one bed, one fridge, and a lot of the furniture we don't need." You say.

He only half gets it.

Once again you sigh.

"What I'm saying is that we're gonna have to sort through all of our stuff and get rid of a good deal of it."

He gets it and his eyes open again to their normal size. He then face-palms.

"I really should have caught onto that much sooner." He says.

Yes, he should have.

"Nah, it's fine." You say.

He smiles again and the two of you start making plans on the way back, such as whose bed is bigger, whose fridge is better, and which books are duplicate copies and if they should get rid of some of them.

************Be Jake*******

You are driving the U-Haul truck now, and in the back of it is Dirk's bed, your fridge, and an old-as-fuck desktop.

Beside you is the several boxes with about 3 dozen books that you two are donating to the local book-store.

After you go to the dump you head towards the book store.

"Welcome Back, Jake. May I Ask Why You Are Donating All Of Your Books?" Kanaya, one of the book-store owners asks.

"Well, these aren't _**all**_ of my books, I just don't need these anymore." You say.

"And May I Ask Why That Is, If It's Not Too Invasive." She asks again.

"Dear, haven't you heard? Jake is moving in with my son today." A kind woman with blonde hair and violet eyes said.

Wait..._son_?

"Oh, Well That Is Lovely, Dear. Rose, Why Didn't You Tell Me That Little Dirk Had A Boyfriend? And That He Is A Common Customer To Our Bookstore?" She rattles off, talking very quickly and a tad sassily.

"I'm sorry to interrupt... but you're...Dirk's mother? When did you find out that I was moving in with him, or that I was dating him at all?" You ask shakily.

"Well now, my dear, I am his mother, but we still talk very often. I can read him like a book, pardon the pun, even online." She says.

"He told me that shit was happening today," you jumped slightly when you heard this kind young lady swear.

"And I asked him if this happened to do with shit moving, and after a minute he concluded that you were moving in with him today. And I know about you because he got worried a lot and would talk to me online during your frequent naps." She says.

Rose, you remember Kanaya calling her, leans her head on Kanaya's shoulder.

"No Matter, I Should Think You'd Be On Your Way, Because The Two Of You Are No Doubt Busy. Ta-Tah Dear!" She says, waving you off with her hand.

You make your way back to the apartment and help move things into closets and corners and into drawers, before landing on the bed tiredly.

*************Be Dirk*************

Your name is Dirk and you look into your room and see your boyfriend...

Sprawled out...

Shorts half undone...

You silently make your way over to the bed and grab his junk through his shorts.

He sort of squeaks at the sudden pressure, then purrs when you start playing with his balls.

You get his shorts off and immediately attack his cock once again.

You hold his balls in your mouth, massaging them with your tongue.

"Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... Diiiiiiiirk..." he moans.

You take your mouth off of his balls with a pop and take his whole cock into your mouth in one go.

You starts moving your head around it, bobbing up and down and using your tongue to twirl around his dick.

Pretty soon he's coming into your mouth with a scream, releasing hard into your throat.

You swallow it all, the salty taste sort of pleasant to you, and you lay next to him.

He grabs your cock in his hand and starts squeezing and pulling.

He gets a rhythm going and you feel it building up, but you aren't going to release yet.

You attack his lips with your own and you roll, eventually straddling him.

You get your shorts and boxers off, as well as both of your shirts.

You get a rubber band and put it around your cock and his.

You rock and twist and bounce on his lap, the band keeping the two of you tied together and the friction is amazing.

After a few more minutes you can't handle it anymore and you cum, Jake not too far behind.

The two of you lay on the bed, giggling, before you nod off to sleep.

**HUZZAH! **

**Jake moved in, Rose and Kanaya were introduced, and there was fun frotting!**

**Anyway, the genre is going to change to just romance cause I don't even know what's happening anymore.**

**Review and share! ;3**


	12. Chapter 11

Your name is Dirk and you are woken up by **THE** _**MOST **_obnoxious ringtone EVER and-

oh wait, that's your phone.

"Hello?" You answer, groggily. No one closed the blinds last night so it is way too fucking bright in here.

"Yes, Hello. Is This Dirk?" A classy-sounding woman starts.

"Who the flying fuck is this?" You ask, wiping your hand over your eyes and scratching your neck.

"Your Mother's Girlfriend."

Oh, well shit.

"She Is Busy With A Customer Right Now But Asked Me To Start The Call And- Oh, Here She Is Now." She says.

Great, now you have TWO classy mothers to deal with.

"Hey mom." You say.

"Dirk! Good, you're up. I need to you leave the state, or at least stay at a friend's house that's nearby. The former is the best bet, but the latter should be acceptable."

What.

"Why in the name of your awful witch-vampire novels should I leave the state and/or stay at a friend's house?"

She pauses for a moment and huffs. Probably shouldn't have brought up her novels, she was proud of that shit.

"Because, it would be in both of our best interests if you weren't here tomorrow. Take your boyfriend too, dear."

"But...why?" You ask, confused and a bit worried.

"Well, because, er..." she stutters. Fuck, your mom doesn't stutter unless she's legitimately worried.

"Your...your father's coming tomorrow..." She says, shakily.

Your eyes widen, your breath hitches, and you drop your phone.

"Dirk? Dirk! Please, make a decision and come down to the book store to talk with me in person!" She instructs, hanging up quickly.

You're still standing there, and your phone is still on the floor.

*****************Be Jake********

Your name is Jake and you were woken up by the same ringtone Dirk was, but instead of moving, you just lay there, relaxing and listening.

Your eyes open wider when you hear Dirk worried, and you sit up like a rocket when you hear his breath hitch and his phone hit the floor.

"Dirk? Dirk? What's wrong?" you ask, worried.

"My...my father's coming tomorrow..." he gasps out.

You hadn't heard anything about his father, but you're sure now is not the best time to ask.

"Do...don't you have friends in Pennsylvania?" He asks.

"Yes...Aranea and her girlfriend...why?" you answer, confused.

"I'd really like to stay with Jane and Roxy, but they're too close, too nearby, he'd go there firstlooking for me, be nice to Roxy to get answers...Roxy was always Dad's favorite..." He rambles.

You nod, and call up Aranea as Dirk is packing a suitcase with clothes, cash, phones, and one of his swords.

"Aranea? Could I ask a favor of you?" You start, getting to the point quickly.

"Jake? Wow, it has been forever since I last saw you. What's wrong?" She asks.

"Well...my boyfriend Dirk and I need to-"

"You two finally fish-hooked up? Er...hooked?" she says, fish-pun thrown in.

"HA! I love you!" You hear her girlfriend joke.

"Yes, we did, but that's not the problem, nor is it a problem of any sort, look..." you say, annoyed.

"Dirk and I need a place to stay that is out of state, and I know we haven't seen each-other since high-school, but could we please stay at you and Meenah's house?" you ask.

"Oh my! That sounds craw-ful...er...awful," She says, another 'HA' heard in the background.

"It is completely okay with us if you stay, Jake. We'll make up a bedroom for you two. Sea you soon!" 'girl, I love you' is heard before she hangs up with a sigh.

"Well, Aranea and Meenah say it's okay. Shall we go there now?" You ask.

"No, my mom need's to talk to me. Let's go to her book-store now." He says, stoic face ever-terrifying.

You nod and head into the car... worried of what will happen at the store and why you need to leave the state to avoid Dirk's father.

**DUH-DUH-DUUUUUUUUH!**

**Cliff hanger everyone! More plot is coming in folks!**

**Share and review to find out what the next chapter will be. ;3**


	13. Chapter 12

Your name is Dirk and you just busted through your mom's book-store front.

"Jake has friends in Pennsylvania we can stay with. We'll go there."

"Dirk... you know what would happen if he does see you, right?" She starts.

You know damn well, and your stress takes over everything and you crumple to the ground, shaking, tears streaming down your face.

************Be Jake**********

Your name is Jake and you are awkwardly standing in a book-store, where Dirk is curled up on a comfortable looking bean bag chair, his mother's arm is around him, and the two of you _should_ be leaving New York soon, but have yet to.

"May I ask... what is the conflict between Dirk and his father?" You ask timidly.

"Dirk hasn't really... had the best relationship with his father..." Rose starts.

"He never treated Dirk the same as Roxy, and he fought with him, with swords, and he left when Dirk was six years old to go to Hollywood. I took care of Dirk and Roxy by myself, and he only came once, for Dirk's highschool graduation..." she dragged out.

"It didn't end well." Dirk concludes.

You're looking worriedly at the two of them.

You had been having a text conversation with Roxy, asking about her dad, and she said he was great... just not to Dirk.

Well.

"Alright, Dirk, we need to get a move on." You say, forcefully.

You wrap your arm around his stomach and make your way to the car.

You hop in the passenger seat and buckle yourself in.

Dirk puts the address into his gps and floors it.

You decide to try to nap or else you might throw up on this car ride.

***********Be Dirk***************

Your name is Dirk and you have been going 20 miles over the spped limit for the whole drive.

You haven't been pulled over and you made it there in about half an hour less time than it would have otherwise, so you see this as perfectly fine.

Jake napped the whole time and he moved a bit sluggishly getting out of the car, and he notices that your tires are a bit worse for wear.

"Whatever, I'll replace 'em later." You say.

"Oi! Y'all need to just get your asses up here bouys and say hi to your hosts." A girl with ver VERY long braids, and pink nails says.

She's wearing a black shirt with a pink Pices symbol on it, and grey sweat-pants.

You notice the ocean pun and facepalm, while Jake makes his way up to her and gives her a quick hug.

"So grand to sea you again Meenah." He says with a wink, Meenah giving him another hug chuckling.

God dammit this weekend's gonna be weird.

"So, may I ask what is so bad that you must stay with us for a weekend, taking a vacation from your nice New York apartment for our humble Pennsylvanian home?" Aranea asks quietly, coming out of the shadow of a tree where she was reading.

"Ugh. My dad's coming to town and my mom said we had to be out of there. I agreed." You put simply.

Jake runs over and hugs her, apparently astonished that he hadn't noticed her before.

"Very nice to see you Jake." she says, smiling.

She steps back and looks at the two of you.

For a moment you see a little bit of hurt in her eyes, but then you see joy.

"Nice to see you've got yourself settled again, Jake." She says, nodding at you.

Meenah walks up behind Aranea and puts her head Aranea's, smiling as Aranea sighs with annoyance.

"Let's go inside, shell we?" Meenah says.

On the way in, Jake and Meenah make conversation about the weapon store you guys passed on the way up, and you trail back to Aranea.

"May I ask why you were a bit hurt looking at the two of us?" You ask, straight to the point.

"Well..." she sighs.

"Jake was my first boyfriend, and I really like him, but my feelings weren't as requited and he broke up with me. We've been good friends ever since, but it's a little sad, imagining what could have been." she says, looking at the ground.

Well shit. You knew these two were good friends, but you apparently hadn't heard the whole thing.

"It's okay though, I met Meenah two years after and we've been happily together for 16 months now." she says with a smile.

So, Aranea is a stickler for detail and has a thing for 'bad boys/girls.' Interesting.

*************Be Dirk 3 hours in the future*****

You are three hours later and the four of you are having drinks, Aranea's drink being made with ginger-ale instead of actual alcohol, but whatever.

You aren't drunk yet because they don't have anything with much more than 6% alcohol, but that's just fine. Meenah and Jake are having a hilarious drunk ol' time.

You are about to go to the bathroom, when your phone rings. You don't recognize the phone number.

"Hello?" You ask.

"Where in fucking hell are you." You hear a voice similar to yours.

Oh shit.

FUCK.

"None of your business, just like the rest of my life. Why the hell do you want to know?" you reply coldly.

"Because I fly all the way from Cali to visit my son and I find out that you're not here. What the fuck." He says, annoyed.

"I'm sure you didn't want to do anything positive with me when you got here. You never do."

"I just wanted to catch up on your life, is that so bad?"

You hear the rotors of a helicoptor, and you sigh heavily, and angrily.

"If it means you're willing to fly a helicoptor to Pennsyl-fucking-vania just to talk to me, I'm not sure."

You hear a ladder hit the ground and you go sit with your friends, grabbing another watered down beer and downing it quickly.

Aranea looks at you worriedly, because she too is sober enough to understand what's going on.

"What's happening. Why's there a helicoptor at my house?" She asks worriedly.

"My dad's here. He's gonna ask about Jake. And other things. I'm so fucking scared." You say, your eyes peeking over your shades, allowing her to see just how much fear you're feeling.

"Oh...oh my..." she says, placing her soda on the table.

She gets up to answer the door.

"He-hello...Mr. Strider?" She answers, nervously.

"Yeah yeah. Where's my son?" He says.

"It won't kill you to be polite once in your life, Dad." You say, taking another sip of your beer.

"And it won't kill you to actually let me see you once in a while." He says, walking over to you, converse clopping on the floor loudly.

"Well excuse me if I don't want to get hurt again." you say.

Aranea looks at you again, scared.

'What?' She mouths.

"Just leave dad. You always break things when you see me and this is someone else's house."

"Or you could talk to me outside, Dirk." He says, looking over his shades with those ruby eyes of his, showing he's not mad but...sad?

What the fuck?

**More cliff hangers! YAY!**

**But basically OH SHIIIIIIIIIII-**

**Review and share ^3^**


	14. Chapter 13

Your name is Jake and you are passed out drunk...

You are of no use to the story at this very moment, let's be Dirk.

**********Be Dirk***********

Your name is Dirk and you are outside with your father right now, who looked sad instead of annoyed when you saw his eyes.

He is satisfied by the big maple tree that Aranea was reading against earlier.

He turns to you, sighs, and leans against the tree.

"How come you never call, Dirk?" he starts.

"I tried. You never answer. You're always busy."

"Why don't you answer when _I _call _you_, then?"

"Because you're always angry and shouting when I do!" You reply, annoyed.

"No I'm not! I'm just hurt that you never talk to me anymore!" He starts shouting too.

"No, you're pissed that you didn't get your way with your son like you do with EVERYTHING ELSE!"

"You're acting as if I don't love my kids-"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU **DON'T**!" you interrupt.

"YOU WERE **NEVER** AROUND WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST AS A KID! YOU NEVER HELPED ME WHEN BULLIES WOULD HIT ME AND CALL ME NAMES. YOU NEVER WROTE A NOTE TO THE TEACHER TELLING THEM TO HANDLE THINGS! YOU ONLY LIKED ROXY! SHE ALWAYS WENT TO YOUR PARTIES! ALWAYS LIKED TO PARTY AND ENTERTAIN THE BIG MANAGERS WITH HER HILARIOUS-AND-CUTE STYLE! YOU LIKED HER BECAUSE SHE COULD SHOW OFF TO THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE YOU MONEY! I NEVER PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT AND YOU GAVE ME CRAP FOR IT! I TRIED TO BE GOOD IN SCHOOL AND GOOD TO MY FRIENDS BUT WHAT DO I GET? **NOTHING!** MOM LIKED THAT I WORKED HARD, AND YOU LOOKED DOWN ON IT!" you start raging out.

Your dad's mouth is open now, and if his shades weren't in the way, you would see his eyes were wide open.

"YOU WERE VIOLENT, TOO! WHEN YOU FINALLY GAVE ENOUGH OF A SHIT TO HELP ME WITH BULLIES, YOU FOUGHT! NOT WITH THEM, THOUGH. THAT WOULD BE TOO DAMN _**EFFICIENT**_ FOR YOU! INSTEAD YOU FOUGHT WITH _ME_ TO TEACH ME THE SKILL! I STILL HAVE SCARS, DAVE!" you accuse, showing him your arms and shoulders, knocking your shades to the ground in the process.

You don't care, you just want to let him have it.

He jumps when you use his name, and he takes a step forward, but you just punch him hard in the arm, and he goes back to the tree.

"YOU MADE FUN OF ME TOO! YOU CALLED IT 'IRONIC' TO INSULT ME, INTERRUPT ME, MAKE FUN OF ME, AND AT THE TIME WHEN I WAS BEING BULLIED FOR THOSE EXACT THINGS, THAT MADE ME FEEL FUCKING **USELESS!**" You continue, ignoring his wince at your punch to the arm.

You're crying now, and since your shades are somewhere off in the grass, you know he can see it.

"WHY COULDN'T YOU BE LIKE A NORMAL DAD? WHY COULDN'T YOU BE THE DAD THAT WENT TO WORK AND WAS NICE TO HIS KIDS, KIND TO HIS WIFE, AND HELPED WITH EVERYTHING? WHY ARE YOU THIS DISTANT PIECE OF SHIT THAT WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS FAMILY?" You can't continue, because you know you'll fall over.

You dash, place your foot on his shoulder, push off, and are in the branches of the maple, climbing higher and higher.

"Dirk..." he whispers, clutching his arm.

You don't listen.

"Dirk." he says, more confidently.

"Dirk!" he shouts, when you're about 40 feet in the air.

"What?" You shout back.

"Get down here. I have more questions." He says.

"Not a chance in hell!" You respond.

"Fine, then answer me this while you're still in the tree: why the hell are you banging Jade's grand-son?"

You freeze. Your eyes widen, and you stare at him.

He's smirking. He's fucking smirking.

You dive from your perch forty feet in the air, and you are maneuvering between the branches. You reach out your arms and you tackle him to the ground, hard.

****************Be Meenah*****

Your name is Meenah and- wait, why are you the narrator?

Oh yeah, the other narrator is out-cold and you need to be someone else.

Okay then.

You've sobered up because you drank a shit ton of water and went to the bathroom, effectively getting a good deal of the alcohol out of your system.

Wait...what's that?

You hear shouting, lots of shouting.

You only met this Dirk guy a few hours ago, but you really like him, and you don't know why.

You pull out your 2-by-3-dent and make your way outside.

You look up and you see Dirk in a tree.

You look down and see a very-similar-looking man with aviators on.

"Why are you banging Jade's grandson?" he asks.

You hear silence for a moment, but then you hear a shout and a shake from the tree.

Oh fuck... he didn't...

Did he just fucking jump?

Oh fuck he did!

You see the guy fall to the ground and you swear there's a dent.

You hear a crack and you wince, and you look at the guy with aviators and you see his leg is bent wrong, very wrong.

Dirk is on top of him and he's punching him.

You see blood.

You run up between them and grab Dirk and push him aside.

You point one end to the guy at the ground, who is grunting and crying, but not too much contortion in his face, whilst pointing the other end at Dirk.

"What the swimming FUCK is going on here?" you ask, confused.

No one says anything.

You look at the guy's leg and you find that nothing's broken, just dislocated.

Damn, this guy must be strong if he took that kind of force and only dislocated his knee.

"Hold still or your leg is gonna fall off." you say, seriously.

He nods, not willing to tell you to get off.

You brace his leg and give it a twist, making him scream.

His leg looks normal again and he is grasping it, panting.

There's blood coming from his nose and lip.

He's fine.

You turn to Dirk and see that he's fine too.

What, are these super storng genetically mutated spies or some shit?

Actually, his dad is so rich they very well might be.

Whatever.

You take Dirk inside and ut him in his room, jamming the door shut with your trident.

You take the dad and put him on the couch, tying him to the couch legs with some rope.

Aranea is in the back of the room protecting the still-passed-out Jake, in case someone came in and went after him.

You smile, good girl, best krillfriend.

You sit down with her and grab another beer.

"What happe-" she starts.

You hold your hand up to stop her.

"We'll talk about it in the morning. Just let me have a drink." You say.

She nods and put Jake's head in her lap.

You can't wait to sleep later.

**Oh would you look at that, the angst is showing again.**

**And Jake missed the whole thing.**

**Wow, I busted this chapter out quickly. Had a breakthrough and didn't want to forget it, I guess.**

**Share and Review! :3**


	15. Chapter 14

Your name is Jane and you are worried sick.

You just got a call from Dirk that his dad had arrived and that he had had a huge fight with him, he dove from a tree, and his father was unconscious on Aranea and Meenah's couch.

You incidentally know Meenah because she's Roxy's ex-girlfriend, and thus you know Aranea too. It's like a big inter-locking web, you guys.

"Janey. Three aint no'in we can do fro them right now. Go to bed and shlep. Ok?" Roxy encourages, wrapping an arm around your waist.

She was always looking out for you, especially when you won't look out for yourself.

"Ok. Come with me, though? We haven't had a make-out session in two days now. My lips are getting lonely." You say, putting one of Roxy's patented 'Wonks' to good use.

You two make it upstairs and to the bed, lips connecting softly...

*******Be Jake***********

Your name is Jake and you don't know how many beers you had, but you are hungover as FUCK.

You walk through the living room and see a man who looks STRIKINGLY like Dirk, but with aviator shades and he's taller.

You notice that he's awake, and staring at you.

You notice that, similar to Dirk, his eyes are not normal.

The ruby gaze is scaring you just a little.

"You must be Jake." He says, groaning when he wakes up.

"Er... yes. That is indeed me." You say.

"I have a feeling you're related to Dirk. May I ask your name and your acquaintance to him?" You ask politely, extending your hand.

He simply nods at it before sitting up even more.

"Huh. Jade said you looked like her, but I didn't think this much." He says.

"J-Jade? You mean...my grandmother? You know her?" you ask, stuttering slightly.

"Yeah...we went through a lot of shit together. She saved my life...but she went into the old age home because of it. She hurt herself bad and couldn't take care of it. This meant that she couldn't take care of you, either. I'm so sorry." He says, a sad look in his eyes.

Your grandmother...saved this man's life...hold the phone.

"You still have yet to give me your name and relation to Dirk, sir. Though by the looks of the marks on your face I see that his fist connected with you. I assume you are his fabled father, then. What's your name?" You ask, wittily.

"Name's Dave." He says.

You feel a bit odd at this point, and you're not sure why.

"Hey kid. Do your eyes always change what shade of green they are?" He inquires.

What.

WHAT.

"E-excuse me." You say, making your way to the bathroom.

You look in the mirror and - he's right, your eyes are bright green again.

"Dirk?" You shout.

You hear a muffled 'what' coming from a locked door.

"Where's my medication? It seems I'm about to have another episode and I'm not particularly thrilled about it. I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom now so no one gets hurt." You say before, true to your word, you lock yourself in the bathroom.

*************Be Dirk*******

What the fuck did you just hear?

You run to the suit-case and pull out the bottle of pills.

Jake was polite. More polite than normal. He's always super polite when he's scared shitless. A good tactic, but it didn't help at all right now.

You kick the door open, sending the door flying as you jump over the railing and make your way to the downstairs bathroom.

You notice your dad is awake, and he's looking at you, worried.

"What the fuck did you do and what the FUCK do you want?" You ask, harshly.

"What's that kid's problem?" He asks, smirking.

"Oh you son of a bitch-" You start.

Wait.

Jake first, beat the shit out of your dad later.

You bust open the door of the bathroom, and Jake looks at you with those crazy green eyes again.

"Dirk...you know it's been a day since we did it...would it be trouble if-" he starts, before you pin him against the wall.

"I am so sorry Jake. I forgot to give you your meds before you passed out last night. Open up." You say, tossing the dose down his throat.

"Swallow." You instruct.

He does so and he remains glaring at you for a moment, before his eyes calm the fuck down again.

"Oh...Oh my gosh...I'm so sorry Dirk...I-I-I just..." He says, at a loss for words.

You hug him tight before letting him go and putting on your poker face again.

"My fault. Not yours. No discussion." You say.

You are not letting him take blame for this.

You hear the sound of beat up hands clapping, and you turn to see your dad looking at you and clapping.

"Very heartwarming, son. I thought you were good at handling situations before, but the way you bust through those doors and jumped over the railing, not to mention the 40 foot dive last night from that tree. You have really impressed me this time." He says sarcastically.

"You did WHAT Dirk?" Jake asks.

"I dove forty feet to tackle my dad and beat the shit out of him. Worked too."

You turn to your dad.

"And I wasn;'t the one who got hurt this time." you say, glaring.

"Dirk, you really need to-" he starts.

"You should leave. Now. Pay the poor helicoptor pilot double for making him stay the night." You say, pushing your dad out the door.

He turns as if he's about to start to say something, but you slam the door in his face and close the curtains.

You look at Jake again, flaming orange eyes glistening with tears.

"Can you ask Aranea if there is an abundance of pillows and blankets?" You say, holding it together long enough to ask before the first tear falls.

He wipes it away with his thumb before going off to ask Aranea.

It had been too fucking much this weekend.

"Dirk. Dirk? Are you okay? I hear that your father had found you and that you dove out of a TREE? he's hurt, are you? What's wrong?" Your mother asks, on the phone.

You tell her everything that happened, everything you said, everything you did.

"You...you really let it all out on him, didn't you?" She concludes. It's hardly noticeable, but you can tell she's crying.

"For fuck's sake mom, stop crying." You say, another silent tear falling too.

"I have to go... bye mom...thank you for always being there for me." You say, ending the call and hiccupping a sob.

"Dirk, here are the bed things." Jake says, setting up the pile.

Here we go again.

**God-dammit more feelings.**

**There needs to be smut in the next chapter.**

**There's going to be.**

**Thing is, I'm giving you guys an option.**

**#1: Roxy/Jane smut**

**#2: Dirk/Jake smut**

**#3: Aranea/Meenah smut**

**To vote, send me a review and somewhere, anywhere in it, type the pairing in big capital letters.**

**Good example: **

**reviewreviewreviewreview ROXY/JANE ****review****review****review****review****review****review****review****review**

**Bad Example: **

**review****review****review****review****review****review****review**#3 **review****review****review****review****review****review**

**Type the ship out, not the number. Got it?**

**Majority rules! ;3**

**Share and vote! ^3^**


	16. Chapter 15

Your name is Roxy and you are currently sitting on your couch, laying in Jane's lap, on your laptop, hacking a game so you can win it faster.

Jane is currently reading a book about some weird detective, and she is humming.

You two are just relaxing when suddenly you shift a bit and Jane lets out a choked gasp.

"Janey, you okay?" you ask, worried.

"Mhmmm... you just...sort of..." she stutters, blushing and looking in her book again.

"I just sorta...what?" You ask, putting your laptop on the floor, turning towards her, and pulling her book down a bit.

You sit on her lap and put your arms around her neck. She blushes harder, looking at her hands.

"Y-you sort of... sort of just...hit...something?" She says, shakily.

Oho this was going to be fun.

"Hit something... like this?" You 'ask', tapping you ring finger at her crotch lightly.

"Hngnnngg... y-yes." She squeaks, shutting her eyes tight.

You bring your arms closer to yourself, in the process bringing her head closer to yours.

"R-roxy...are...is it going to happen...tonight?" She asks.

The two of you had been talking about it for a while, and she seemed apprehensive about it.

The two of you had been checked a while ago and the both of you were clean, thank fucking god.

"Mhm." You nod, smiling.

You kiss her lightly, holding her close to you.

She kisses back, eyes closed, and she is moaning lightly into your mouth.

Oh what a cute little virgin she is.

You pick her up, still connected, and you make your way to the bedroom.

Once the door is closed you begin to take your shoes, skirt, and leggings off, as she removes her skirt.

The two of you break apart briefly to take off your shirts and bras, before she leaps and wraps her legs around you.

You fall backwards onto the bed, giggling.

You turn her slightly and put one of your legs behind her and the other by her chest. You make your foot wiggle around and start tickling her boobs, causing her to giggle.

She relaxes a little as she is giggling and you take the opportunity to connect your crotch with hers.

She moans, something that starts low and gets higher pitched.

You rock back and forth against her, causing her to squeak and tense up, face blushing quite quite deeply.

Your clitorises are colliding and the friction is beautiful.

"R-Roxyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" she moans, tensing real hard.

Oh, she's going to come real soon.

"Yes, Janey?" you tease with a smirk.

"~!~!" she moans, tensing and relaxing, her vagina doing all kinds of weird spasms.

Said spasms are squeezing you in a fabulous way, and you are about to come to orgasm as well.

"Jaaaaaaaaneyyyy" you moan, rubbing against her more.

"OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" you moan, reaching a similar orgasm.

You un-lock your legs from Jane's and go up to where her face is.

Her face is flushed red and she is panting, and you rub your nose lightly against hers.

She giggles and kisses you again.

"So, I take it you liked that, Janey?" You ask, knowing the answer already.

"U-uhunh..." she nods.

You kiss her forehead, before going back down.

"Roxy, w-what are y-you doing...now?" She pants as you open her legs a bit.

"You'll see." You say, before sticking your face in her crotch and licking up her junk.

She spasms and squeaks again.

She was wet from your prior sex endeavor and you lap it all up, the taste is tangy, but not bad.

She is moaning all over again, and you are loving it.

She orgasms again, before flopping on the bed after you lap up the wetness once more.

She lays there for a moment, before getting up and going to the closet.

"Janey, waht are you...?" You begin to ask.

"I...I have a surprise for you...I was saving it...and I think you'll really like it.

***************Be Jane**************

Your name is Jane and this is the sleuthiest thing you're going to do of the night.

You go to the closet and pull out a box.

You open it and Roxy looks at it perplexed.

"Janey...is that what I thikink it is?" she asks.

You pick it up and put it on the floor.

Yes, it's what she thinks it is.

It is a custom made sybian, with two vibrators instead of just one.

They are close enough together that you can hold each-other and kiss while it's happening.

"This is gon' to be the best sex EVER" Roxy says, hopping on it.

You giggle and go over as well.

You each insert one and you put your knees on the floor.

"Ready?" she asks.

In response, you find the switch with your finger and flip the switch, kissing her.

You start it on low, just to torture her. You had practiced on yourself and gotten used to the low setting, so watching her squirm against it, wanting more, was fantastic.

Sure, you didn't last long to her body, but this piece of hardware? No problem.

"Janey...could you pl-please turn this up a bit?" she begs.

You comply and set it to high.

The sensation is quite a lot, and you feel it against your sweet spot, making you scream.

Apparently this is the same for her, because she is moaning as well.

You want to bottle up those screams, so you do, so to speak.

You kiss her more and the screams go down your throat, tickling it a bit.

You slyly reach down the side and feel for the switch again.

You decided to put a few more settings on this than normal, and instead of just low-medium-high, it was low-medium-high-superhigh-sweet jesus take me away.

Yes, that's what you put on the label of the dial.

You turn it to the sweet jesus setting and neither of you can stop screaming.

It's like the two of you just keep reaching your orgasms over and over, not being able to resist eachother or the vibrations of the machine.

After what seems like your tenth orgasm, you switch it down to medium, then low, then off.

The two of you are panting, shakily, and you look up and Roxy kisses you.

"Think of it as a late birthdy-presnt" you say.

"Am I allowed to play with hat while you're at wrok, Janey?" She asks.

Roxy: blunt as ever and very adorable.

"Of course, it's for you." You say.

She hugs you tighter and the two of you go to take a shower.

***********Be Roxy********

Your name is Roxy and you just took a shower after what was the best sex ever, as you predicted.

It was an hour ago and your crotch STILL hasn't calmed down.

You are cuddling with Jane in your bed and after a while you drift to sleep, sexy dreams awaiting you.

**HUZZAH FOR THE YURI!**

**And guys, like I said in the announcement, I'm giving you three chapters.**

**I was going to do just the one you guys voted for, but I really wanted the Roxy/Jane, too. **

**So... TWO OF THE PORN PAIRINGS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Share and review ;3**

***Side note: if any of you feel like drawing the porn and sending it to me, I can post it here.**

**Porn illustrations of this would be hot.**


	17. Chapter 16

Your name is Jake and you are driving Dirk home.

After his father arrived shit went down and he explained it all to you on the pile you set up.

He tried, and failed, to hide the tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

You had held him all night as he slept, making sure he was okay, and if he wasn't, you were there.

Now you were heading to your apartment after talking to his mom in person, Kanaya and Rose almost crying.

You reach the apartment and you carry him upstairs and lay him on the bed.

You go take a shower because you hadn't in a few days and that was just gross.

You come out of the shower and you hear moaning.

What the devil?

You go to your room and you see Dirk there. Pants undone, and his hand is around his cock, tugging at a quick-quick pace.

So, was sex going to make this man happy?

From the looks of it, yes.

You (still silently) walk over and wrap your hand around his.

He gasps and opens his eyes, blushing hard.

You use your left hand to jack him off as you use your right hand to take out his belt and tie his right leg to the bed-post.

"I thought that I could... return the favor, for a couple nights ago. It was great, and I wanted to...not hurt you...this time." You say.

He smiles and you feel his dick become hard as a fucking rock, as you find your own belt and tie his left leg to the post.

You feel him about to cum, his abs are clenching, and his tone of voice is getting higher and higher.

Oh, we can't have that so _soon_.

You let go and go to the closet to get another belt.

He is squirming, and he reaches his right hand down to finish himself, but you flick the belt and it wraps around his hands, both of them, and you tie them to the head-board.

"Je-jesus...how long've you been Indiana Jones?" He asks, huffing, still mewling.

"A while, comes in handy." You say.

You grab his dick again and start stroking, he's smiling and moaning again.

You get him up to full hardness and he's shaking again...before letting go again.

He grunts and is bucking into the air.

"Engliiiiiiiiish! Why? I'm so close!" He complains.

"What's this? A begging Dirk? Today must be my lucky day!" You say.

"UGGGH!" He says, throwing his head back, thrusting into the air, trying to finish off.

You watch him and see he's getting softer.

You grab his dick once more and are tugging at a fast pace, and he's about to cum one more time, when you let go.

"Raaagh! God dammit, quit edging me! Fuck me!" He commands.

If he says so.

You grab the condoms and lube, putting a condom on yourself with the hand that wasn't jacking off Dirk.

You squeeze some lube onto your fingers and insert one in Dirk's ass.

He nods right away and you add the second, scissoring him before adding the third.

He's rocking back against you, so you take out the fingers, squeeze some lube onto your dick, and lather up.

Dirk is bucking the air in anticipation. You have to say, seeing Dirk this desparate is quite the sight.

*********Be Dirk**********

Your name is Dirk, and you had had a pretty crappy weekend, but now you were tied to the bed posts, naked, and Jake was about to fuck you, and you were fully prepped, and he was fully lubed.

He sticks his dick in you and you feel absolutely fine.

Fine...minus the fact that Jake wasn't moving a muscle.

He was smirking at you.

"English are you gonna torture me all night? MOVE!"

He does so, but at a very fast pace.

He somehow magically finds your sweet spot immediately and you scream.

He keeps pounding and pounding on it and you can't see anything but white.

You cum all over your stomach, but Jake isn't letting up.

He continues at the same speed, hitting the same spot, and your whole body is twitching, and you cum again.

He still won't let up, you can't believe he hasn't cum yet, and you cum a third time.

He keeps slamming into that spot when he moans and thrusts really hard into you.

He pulls out of you, but you are half hard.

He leaves you there, tied and helpless, half-hard, and you're alone.

You hear the shower kick on and you're sure he's being an asshole on purpose.

You can't get rid of a boner by thinking of turn-offs, and you can't jack off.

You decide to think the most sexy thoughts ever.

You see Jake. Jake's cock. In front of you.

You are thrusting into the air, but the fucker turned the A.C. on, so you can't cum that way either.

"GODDAMMIT ENGLISH GET BACK HERE AND FINISH ME OFF!"

"Sorry Dirk I'm in the shower!" He says.

Oh for fuck's sake.

You kick your leg, and you find that the belt is slightly loosened by this.

You kick a lot and you get your legs free.

Using your very dextrous feet, you open the drawer, and hook onto the vibrator.

You slip it onto your dick, tighten it, and flip the switch. Already you feel it and you can't wait to cum.

Neither can your dick, because you cum in a matter of 20 seconds.

"Yesssssssssss." you hiss.

However, your cum has made the vibrator slippery, and you can't use your foot to turn it off again.

"Fuck..." You say.

Jake, for some reason, is taking much longer in the shower than normal, so you lay there...for a half hour...vibrator on your dick... set to high... and you can't turn it off.

Your legs are free, but your arms aren't, so you can't go anywhere.

Instead you are thrashing on the bed.

************Be Jake************

Your name is Jake and you are so devilish.

Your phone is on and in the corner. You are currently using the iPad to facetime it.

You see Dirk got the vibrator, but can't turn it off, and he's torturing himself at this point.

You are chuckling, and you find that this sight is worth the water you're wasting in the shower.

It's recycled, it's not being wasted, why should you care?

************Be Dirk Again*****

You are again Dirk and you are crying. Not from sadness or pain, but from the fact that you have been on the vibrator for an hour now and you've cum so many times hardly anything is coming out anymore.

You know Jake's not in the shower, but he's not coming back to help you.

"You can turn off the shower! I know you're not in there!" you shout.

Just like that, the shower shuts off.

"Can you help me now?" You ask.

He doesn't do anything, and you just continue to lie there.

Your legs are so tired you don't even try to turn off the vibrator anymore.

And there is no WAY that you can bend your back and turn it off with your teeth. You're not that flexible and your abs won't allow it.

Suddenly you black out...what the fuck?

************Be Jake************

Your name is Jake and suddenly your hands are tied to a post and your dick is being vibrated by a vibrator and you look in the corner and there's a phone...

Oh god dammit why have you switched bodies again?

Oh yeah, cause Roxy's a bubbly little WITCH.

"ROXYYYYYYYYY!" you shout, before twitching and moaning.

Roxy and Jane had told you the day after you'd been medicated that it was her machine that was making you switch bodies.

And now YOU were the one who was being tortured by a vibrator.

You twitch and scream and buck, and eventually your feet are on the head post, your arms are behind your back and still tied to the bedpost, and your dick is still on fire.

You hear your laugh from the living room, which alerts you that Dirk realized what happened.

You flop back down on the bed and are thrashing, similarly to how Dirk was thrashing.

You hear the front door open and close.

"The fucker left me here..." you curse under your breath.

It was gonna be a looooooooong night.

**For the record, Dirk/Jake won, but I wanted all of the porn. This is the longest one, though, and the story will continue from Dirk and Jake.**

**Hope you enjoy the dillemmas of the vibrator! :)**


	18. Chapter 17

Your name is Dirk and you are walking down the street in Jake's body.

Jake's at the apartment, with his dick in a vibrator that he can't shut off.

And you left him there.

You got some coffee and bought a cd.

Basically everything's open late at night around your place.

You went back and you walked into the bedroom.

You turned off the vibrator, took it off him, and untied his hands.

Just like that the two of you are switched back into your right bodies.

"Thanks Rox" you say.

You get in the shower (actually taking a shower) and get dressed.

You and Jake fall asleep relatively quickly, and your whole everything is sore from all of the orgasms.

***********Be Jake************

The two of you wake up the next morning and you make his favorite breakfast in apology.

"I'm sorry chap." You say.

"I just thought it would be funny is all."

" 'sokay." He says, with a pancake and half a sausage in his mouth.

He was so ravenous the mornings after you had sex, it was a little scary, actually.

The two of you finish breakfast and he takes you out to the movies.

You were really excited too, because The Avengers looked AMAZING on the tv trailers and it was even funnier in the movies.

"Thanks so much for taking me Dirk. I'd been looking forward to that for a while."

"Not a problem. I wanted to see the movie and watching you act like a four year old getting a new toy at an action movie is well worth it." He says, smirking.

"Oh hush. I liked it and you did too." You say, playfully nudging his arm.

He gets a phone call and he picks it up, still walking donw the street.

"Yes, mom?" He asks, stoically but slightly interested.

"What _kind_ of news? Right now? Ugh. We're on our way." He says, hanging up,

He sighs.

"My mom wants us at her book store right now because apparently she has really big news." he says.

"Well all right. Let's go!" You say.

**********Be Dirk***********

Your name is Dirk and you just walked into your mom's bookstore because she has 'big news.'

"Hello, Dirk. We're in the back." She says.

The two of you make your way to the back and find your mom and Kanaya sitting around a table with a cake.

"What's the cake fo-" you start.

But then you see her hand.

There's an amethyst ring.

What the...

"Kanaya has proposed to me, and we'll be getting married next September." She says, smiling softly.

"But mom... you're 40. You're getting married at 40?" You ask.

"You're 22. You're having sex at 22?" She asks, sarcastically, proving the point that age doesn't matter.

"Oh, well isn't this a joyous occasion! Your mother's getting MARRIED Dirk! Let's celebrate!" Jake says, bouncing around.

Thing is, happy as it was, you couldn't help but feel the slightest bit confused.

It was like dad didn't exist anymore.

Wait, why were you confused? This WAS a joyous occasion!

You get a lighter and light the candle on the cake, calling Roxy and Jane and Kanaya's best friend Vriska.

The 7 of you celebrated and drank and it was a nice night.

Things were looking really good.

**So yeah. See you guys on Wednesday! :3**


	19. Chapter 18

Your name is Dirk and you are napping on your couch after just partying at your mom's bookstore.

You guys were partying because your mother is going to be getting married to Kanaya at some point next February.

The good thing about New York: they were allowed to do that.

It was going to be a bit gothy themed because they were vampire-witch obsessed and they would both wear black and it would happen in an old chapel on the night of the full moon yadda yadda yadda.

You didn't give a shit about all the themey-traditiony-shit.

You were just happy that your mom was getting married again.

You and Jake had promised to get the decorations and entertainment, Roxy the drinks, Jane the cake (duh), and Kanaya's friend Vriska had promised to scare the shit out of local chapels to see if one was willing to do a wedding, in the attic, in the dark, on a full moon, with gothy shit and candles everywhere. Anything that involved Vriska scaring the shit out of people: good fit for her.

Kanaya would be making her own dress, as well as Rose's, with a little help from a fashion associate of hers named... Ampora, or some shit like that.

It just so happened that you planned to get Ampora's boyfriend to be the entertainment, with a light-show and music. He was actually just a hacker, and he had managed to download music and make it better, along with amazing lights, effects, and other stuff. Well, you'd been to his concerts and it was a pretty boss show, so no matter what bullshit "magicth" he pulled, it would be a fun night.

Rose was doing some reading and history and other research on how people would react, who she should invite, who she should actively NOT invite, and she basically would handle all the sheduling, invitations, and other associations with the people who would come to the wedding.

She got engaged this morning and you guys already had this figured out. Figures.

Jake was reading and you were napping in his lap, and the two of you had had a pretty amazing day, to tell the truth.

After the fiasco with your dad, and Jake freaking out that you had the ability to jump from a forty-foot perch, tackle someone, and be perfectly fine, you two had been fairly calm. Jake was going to go in to the therapist's office tomorrow for the check-up and you were not sure if you were entertained to see Umbra and her brother arguing again or not.

But, for right now, and mentioned for the third time, you were napping.

During your nap, you had a dream.

****************Be Dirk's Dream*******

You are Dirk's dream. Not his dream self, because that fella had moved on a while ago, but now you sort of just had dreams of what ever the fuck. You were in a suit, with an orange rose, and you saw petals... and you ran down the lane of petals... and Jake was there, smiling at you... the two of you held hands, and someone was there.

You looked at Jake confused, and his smile was wide as ever.

"I absolutely do, sir." he said. It sounded soft and far off, but you still understood perfectly.

"And do you, Dirk?" you were asked.

You took a good look around.

You saw the people, the scene, the flowers, Jake.

Wait... was this your-

********Be the Suddenly Woken Up Dirk*****

Your name is Dirk and you are lying on the couch and Jake is looking at you, scared and confused.

"What's wrong, Dirk?" he's asking.

"Nothing... nothing is wrong, Jake." You say.

"G-good... it's just you were shaking and your head was moving around and you were murmuring... I was a little freaked out there chap."

"It's okay. I got this. We're cool." you say, lying.

**********Be Jake ************

Your name is Jake and you are waiting for Dr. Umbra to call your name.

Today is the check up for the three weeks after starting the prescription.

"Jake?" a sweet voice calls.

You get up and walk over to her.

She sits you down in her office, and Dirk is next to you.

"So. May I just make a few observations before we begin the actual testing?" She asks, sweetly.

"I have no problem with that. Isn't today's appointment just one big observation?" You reply politely.

"Well, first off: I notice that you have much more energy, and I'm going to assume it's from sleeping better. Also, I've heard the two of you have moved in. Also, you are in shape more, and you two are very...comfortable around eachother. Have you two had an... active... sex life with eachother?" She asks, almost giggling embarrasedly.

"Well... yes, actually. I have been sleeping better, I did indeed move in with Dirk, and yes, we have sex often." you reply.

"How often, would you say? Could you give me a nights per week?" She asks.

"4 or 5 nights a week?" Dirk guesses. You nod, and Dr. Umbra writes something down.

"Have you had any episodes, at all, since you've started the medication, Jake?" She asks.

"None. I had one, but that was when I went more than 24 hours without taking my dose, so I assume it was only natural to have an episode." you say.

"Hmmmm..." She says. She writes something down for a few minutes, then looks at you again, seriously.

"I must say, even before we start the tests, from what it looks like, you're very good about taking your doses and taking them on time, but it seems that you are very reliant on them, because within an hour of being late with a dose, you had an episode." Dr. Umbra says.

"Of course, we don't have a cure for bipolar disorder, but you are more dependent than other cases, and you should be watched carefully by your loved ones and taken care of, to make sure your medicine is in order, always available, and to make sure your episodes don't happen." She concludes.

You look at Dirk, and the two of you look back at her and nod.

The rest of the morning goes with several tests being run and it seems that Dr. Umbra was right and the results prove it.

Dr. Umbra's brother picks her up and makes a scene once more, yelling something about getting home so she can get her cosplay ready... or something like that.

These people, you swear...

You are sent to the pharmacy to pick up your next six month's doses and sent home.

You and Dirk close all the blinds and take a nap on the bed.

Neither of you had a very solid sleep schedeule, because both of you took naps so often... it didn't matter too much.

Neither of you wants to make dinner when you wake up, so you go out to dinner.

You get to a very nice, very colorful restaurant and sit down.

"I've never heard of this place, Dirk. What is it?" you ask.

"Some right-wing place run by a couple local hippies. Great food, lousty theme, weird ass waitors."

"Oh...well..what do you mea-" You start, before you are cut off by a nice looking woman with very poofy hair, lots of jewlery, including about 3 dozen bangles, and pink glasses.

"HI! My name is Feferi, but you can call me Fef if you want!" She says, smiling and giggling.

"I'm your waitress, here are your menus. I'll be back in a little bit and sea if you want anything to start with or to brink... sorry... drink." She says, giggling as she hands you your menus and dashes off.

"Weird indeed..." you say, cocking an eyebrow and turning back to Dirk.

"Told you." He says.

**HAHAHAHAAAA I GIVE YOU ONE AT ASS EARLY ON WEDNESDAY AND TWO LATER TODAY AIDGFH**

**Sorry, traveling does bad things for my think pan O_o**

**Anyway, there's the chapter, and more plot-type-things happen in the next one. (Like there wasn't any here _ )**

**Share and Review and stay on your toes! ;3**


	20. Chapter 19

Your name is Jake and the two of you are still waiting for your food and are sharing some iPod headphones to listen to a bunch of demos from Dirk's new album.

He writes the songs in his spare time, and since his dad made enough money before he high-tailed out of his life, he can get the cds into stores around the country. It's not enough money to live off of, but along with his..."job" (Which you don't really like, but it gets the money in.)

Said questionable job is making and selling... "puppets."

Said puppets have noses resembling penises and asses that you can actually sick your own tongue and/or penis into.

You repeat: you don't like his job, but it brings in the money.

He does his best to make sure the "puppets" (or 'Smuppets', he calls them) aren't around the house, but every so often you stumble upon one and he immediately throws it into his closet of the things, apologizing with a very red face.

Anywho, you're listening to the music and saying yes to the ones you like, and no to the ones that aren't as good.

You're in the middle of the 6th one, when a very tall and lanky man with absolutely untamed hair and face paint, which is probably not okay for uniform, but no one seems to be annoyed, walks up to your table.

"Heeeeeeeeeeey guys. I take it you two are table 7. Niiiiiice. Anyway I'm Gamzee, and here's your miraculous food. We got a steak covered in nice herbs and a nice pile of p'tatoes on the side. Here's a little gravy for that." he said, handing Dirk his steak and gravy. He had a strange accent and he seemed a bit distracted.

"Aaaaaaaand here is the pasta with the pesto and the chicken and the other miraculous ingredients that make it so special." He said, handing you said plate of chicken pesto pasta.

"Thanks." Dirk said. Gamzee was still standing and smiling, looking at the flowers on the table and smiling.

"You can go now." Dirk said, a little annoyed.

"Oh. Riiiiiight. Sorry guys... I sort of forgot I was standing here. But these flowers are just _SO_ pretty and I just didn't want to waste a second of lookin' at them... and-" he started trailing off when a very short and very sour looking (also a tad feminine looking) man walked up and grabbed him by the arm.

"Let's **GO** fuckass. You and your stupid ADD... how you got this job is beyond me..." He said, grumbling to himself on the way back to the kitchen.

"Thanks Karbro... good guy, best boyfriend..." he said, still dazed.

"UUUUGH" He grunted, closing the kitchen doors.

"Well. He seems cheerful." Dirk said. You chuckled at that.

You took a bite of your chicken pesto pasta and holy DEVIL FLYING DICKENS it is fantastic!

"You sure were right, Dirk! Fantastic food, crazy waitors." You said, chuckling.

He nods and takes a bite of his steak.

The rest of the evening is taken up by conversation, laughing, awesome food, and some more of Dirk's awesome music.

You finish your food and pay, Feferi coming back and leaving with a chuckle when she noticed the fish Dirk drew on the back of the reciept.

You two are walking back to the car, but Dirk looks up and sees the stars. In New York, you NEVER see the stars, so he made you sit down on the bench and look at them with you.

You are sitting on the bench and looking up at the stars, still listening to the playlist, when you hear one with lyrics.

"Dirk, you don't normally put lyrics in your music... what's this one-" you start, before Dirk cuts you off with a finger to your lips.

You quiet down and listen to the song.

You hear Dirk's voice, rapping.

_I always saw you as pretty amazing_

_Protecting you from all of the phazing_

_The hazing_

_The hardships people put you through, set on you_

_And now you're mine_

_So so fine_

_I can't tell you how hard it is keeping this straight face in line_

_You're always on my mind_

There's a beat and some synthesizer in the background and after the first verse a bass drop, before the chorus comes in.

_Jake English, you're the only one I need_

_Jake English, oh so special to me_

_Jake English, don't you ever ever leave_

_Jake English...settin' you free._

You don't hear the rest of the song, because you lost the headphones on your way to crashing you lips onto his. You two are kissing under the stars, listening to a romantic rap made by him and fuck if it's not the most romantic thing ever.

*************Be Dirk*********

Your name is Dirk and you just had the most romantic kiss in the world.

Also, you just had your first public display of affection with Jake. A quite big display too, if you do say so yourself.

You two go home and have some nice sex. Nothing different from normal, except for the fact that Jake was the one botttoming this time

You fell asleep to the sound of Jake's easy breathing.

***********Be Jake*************

Your name is Jake and you and Dirk had been showing affection in public more often. You would hold hands and share headphones walking down the street, he'd have your arm around you when you sat on benches in parks, and he'd kiss your cheek under a shady tree every now and then.

You two had just left a football game (Dirk had stomached it for you because you had promised to take him to a fencing match later in the week.)

You two were waiting in the subway station outside the stadium, where Dirk had his arm around you and he kissed your cheek.

Suddenly you feel lots of force to the left side of your jaw, and the last thing you remember is hearing a bad crack as you hit the floor, Dirk standing up, and a very loud and very deep voice yelling at you. You can't discern what he's saying, but you black out before you can find out.

*************Be Dirk********

Your name is Dirk and your boyfriend Jake just got punched out of your arms. He hit the floor with a loud crack and he's unconscious.

You're in a train station and a very large man is standing over you two.

"Serves him RIGHT for being a disgusting faggot! Fucking gay people ruining the sanctity of marriage and poisoning our children with these heinous ideas!" He says. He looks to be around forty, he's blond, and he's wearing a football jersey. There's no way this guy's on a football team, must be a fan.

You look him up and down and guess he's around 5' 10" and around 170 pounds.

You stand up taller.

"First of all, he's Bi, not gay. He likes girls, too. Second, where do you go around, punching innocent people just because they have different views than you. Third, gay marriage is legal in the state of New York, which, if you haven't noticed, is the state you're currently in. And fourth," you pause. You walk up to him and punch him hard in the stomach and uppercut his jaw, hearing a nice crack as well. "_**That**_ is for punching my boyfriend."

"...God... will... smite you... down to helll..." he stammers, looking up at you.

"Well, here's the thing: I'm athiest, so is he. Fuck you too, asshole." You say.

You are bending over Jake, trying to make sure he's okay. He's breathing, but shakily, and his arm is bent all wrong, and he's going to need to go to the hospital.

People are looking at you, and they all start clapping, some helping you straighten out Jake and a nice old man helps you two into their car, with you in the passenger seat.

"Thank you, sir." you say.

"No problem, boy." He says.

"He reminded me too much of me when I was his age... only there were laws that helped that asshole's case instead of mine."

You don't hear old people swear that often, so hearing this old man swear like that was fun, and you chuckled to yourself.

Wait... his hair and glasses... those teeth... what the...?

"Uh... why do you look so familiar?" You ask.

"I'm the lad's great uncle. I'm John Egbert." he says.

"Well, thank you, John."

"Not a worry. I just want my granddaughter's dear friends to all be okay." he says.

"Wait... are you Jane's granddad?" you ask?

"Yup. I've been in Washington for a while, but I came to visit and I saw you and your boyfriend, I thought I'd help you, as an apology to not being a part of my little Jane's life."

"Uh... sir? She's not little. She's 20 and dating my sister, Roxy."

"Oh, well this is going to be an interesting weekend." He says.

"Sure is, sir." You say, looking in the backseat, worriedly, at Jake.

**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT.**

**Share and review. ;3**


	21. Chapter 20

Your name is Jane and you are currently pinned to your bed by your girlfriend Roxy, and the two of you are having sloppy make-outs.

Oh, and you two are naked and the sybian is on the floor.

Roxy is fingering you, and you think you are about to climax, when:

"_Myyyy Little Ponyy... I used to wonder what friendship could be_" is heard.

"UUUUUUUGH What could Dirk POSSIBLY want at 2 in the morning?" You say, reaching over and picking up your phone as "You all shared its magic with-" is heard.

"What?" You start.

"Hey, Jane, is your house tidy?" He asks.

What the... oh, right.

You, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake had come up with a code for the phone to ask if the pair being called was having sex. It was to be used when they were around other people.

"No, I think I have to clean it up a bit. Why?" You respond.

"Well, just thought you'd want to straighten it out, because Jake, Me, and _YOUR GRANDFATHER_ are coming over." He says, subtly pointing out the last one urgently.

"Oh, well thank you for the warning. I wouldn't want my house to be a mess when he gets here." You say.

"Great. We should be there in about _20 MINUTES_." He says, before hanging up.

"Fuck... Roxy, we need to shower and get dressed." You say.

"Whyyyy Janey?" Roxy complains.

"My pop-pop is coming in 20 minutes and we can't smell like sex, cause ew." You say.

Her eyes widen and the two of you hop in the shower after booting the sybian into the closet and putting the sheets in the wash.

You don't use any hair-products. You use cold water and soap and get out of the shower really quickly.

You two towel off right quick and get clothes on.

Roxy wears a t-shirt and her skirt, leggings underneath. You wear some jeans and a blouse, a frilly skirt over your pants, and you put two sky-blue hairclips into your hair.

You hear the doorbell ring and you have Roxy pretend to straighten out the couch as you go to open the door.

"Pop-Pop!" You giggle, giving him a hug.

"Hey Jane. Nice to see you after... 15 years, was it?" he says, hugging you back.

"You left when I was 5 and a half, so yes." you say.

"Hey Jane, Roxy. Don't freak out about Jake. Some asshole punched him in the train-station and he landed wrong." Dirk says, helping a limping Jake into the room. He had a sling and a leg brace, and his face was badly bruised.

"Don't _worry_! He looks awful! Sit down on the couch, you guys." You say, concerned.

"Ugh. I told you I'd be fine Dirk, but now you got Jane and Roxy all riled up." Jake says, sounding annoyed but wincing when he sits down.

Roxy gets Jake a beer and walks up to Pop-Pop.

"Hi, grandpa-popop-crocker." She says, shaking his hand.

You facepalm, but Pop-Pop just chuckles.

"And I'll bet you're Roxy, the one my Jane is dating, yes?" He says.

_'ARKJFGJKDFGOSHEFGBIAEVYIVATHR' _ Your brain is screaming at you.

"Why hyes. Tahst me." She says, smiling adorably.

Oooooh you should have warned her.

"Great. I'm glad my granddaughter is happy. You know, she never told me she was lesbian, but you seems a good fit for her up-tight sweetness. You seem like a bubbly party girl." He says.

Roxy's face freezes for a second, she turns to you, and subtly gives you the 'oh shit I'm sorry' look.

"Anyway, please come in Pop-Pop." you say, inviting him in.

"Well thanks, honey." He says, sitting on the couch when suddenly a loud 'FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTRT' is heard.

Everyone stops, turns to Pop-Pop, and starts laughing, including him.

He reaches under the seat and pulls out a whoopee cushion.

"Your prankster's gambit is improving, Jane." He says, laughing.

You smile and hug your grandfather.

"I missed you Pop-Pop." you say.

"I missed you too." he says.

You release and go over to the kitchen, saying that you are 'getting snacks', and pass Dirk.

"Thanks for the warning, saved us there." You whisper.

"Don't mention it." He says, lowering his shades and winking for you.

****************Be Dirk********

You are sitting on Jane's couch at 5 in the morning, her grandfather is there, and the 5 of you are playing 'Sorry' while sharing jokes and stories, Jane sitting out.

Roxy and Jake are both in position to win, each with only one piece left in the 'Safety Zone'.

"Oh, Roxy my dear, I must say that you are going DOWN!" Jake says.

"Not so fast, nephew. Roxy only needs 3 spaces to win, but you need 4. Four cards go backwards, not forwards. She could make it in one move while it would take you two or more." Jane's grandfather says. You and Jane nod while Jake's face becomes more competitive.

"Your move, Rox." He says.

Roxy picks up a ten and moves backwards one, putting her in the same position as Jake.

"AHA! We're in the same place and now it's my turn!" He says. You face-palm at how silly he's being, but you love him anyway, so you don't mention it.

He picks up a card and it is the famous 'SORRY!' card, which does him jack-shit if he's got only one piece left and he's in the safety zone.

"Ooh, I'm scared now, Jakey." Roxy says, laughing.

"Your move, Dirk." He grumbles.

You and Jane's grandfather go, and it's back to Roxy.

She picks a 2 and moves forward that amount.

"HA! Good luck winning now! It's the end of your turn!" he shouts.

"Not so fast Jakey. I picked a 2, so I get to pickick up anhooter card." She says.

"Yes, but what are the chances you'll pick another t-" Jake starts, before Roxy picks the next card and reveals it's a 2.

"Well I'll be, Jakey. Looks like I win!" Roxy mocks, patting Jake on the head as he grumbles.

"Jesus, don't get so competitive, Jake. You look like you're about to explode." You say.

He calms down and puts out his hand in defeat.

"Shake on it, Roxy? Good game?" He says.

"Sure."

They shake hands and Roxy kisses his forhead, while you and Jane are giggling.

"So. It's 5:30 or some shit. Does anyone wanna fall asleep or should we just stay up and hit a Starbucks?" you ask.

"Sounds good" or something related to that is said by everyone and you guys all walk through the city and find one.

You all order your various drinks and sit in the circle of comfy chairs and continue to talk.

At some point, Jane's grandfather pops up with:

"Hey, Dirk, Jake, Roxy; if you want to you can call me Pop-Pop or John. None of this 'Jane's grandpa' stuff because that's just a mouthful."

Well, that makes things easier.

Later that day you part from Jane, John, and Roxy and go take Jake to the doctor's again to get a cast.

You two spent a quiet evening at home before calling up the entertainment guy.

"Hey guyth. You two mind if I jutht thorta hang out on your couch while we talk? I'm not too much into thitting at a table all profethional-like." He says.

God damn, that was a thick lisp.

"Sure. That's what I was thinking of have happen anyhow." You say, showing him the couch.

The three of you talk for a bit about how you could use some jades and purples that don't clash for the lights and lazers, because they were Rose and Kanaya's favorite colors, and how/where they should be positioned. The music would be classical and violin music, but with either a pop-beat or dubstep added to it. He said he'd send you a copy of the track for the party and the two of you thought that would be great.

"Hey, one latht quethtion." he says.

"Yeah?" You reply.

"Are you by any chanth Dave Thrider'th thon?" he asks.

What.

WHAT.

"Yeah. Why?" you reply.

"Well, he'th my bothth and friend. He thorta came back from hith trip really banged up and when I athked he thaid 'family troubleth.' " he said.

"Yeah. He went too far and I dove from a tree and tackled him to the ground." you reply, shooting him a look that should have said 'and that's that, don't ask more questions.'

"Huh. I knew he wath being an athhole again. Thorry about that. I wath the one who told him to go talk to you." He said, looking away embarassed.

"Hey, it's fine, just... don't tell my dad that my mom's getting re-married. He'll crash it and it'll go all to hell."

"I won't, I won't. I know what thit will happen if I do."

There was an awkward moment of silence, when suddenly 'The Little Mermaid' theme played on his phone.

"Yeth honey?" he answers.

"W-what in fuck-all hell is goin' on up there that is makin' you take tw-wenty minutes longer! W-we are goin' to lose our seats at the restaurant!" an angry voice with doubling w's is heard, and Sollux holds the phone away from his ear to avoid damage.

"Coming, coming. theethh we juth finithed." he said.

"Then get your ass dow-wn here right now-w!"

"Coming!" Sollux said, hanging up with an exasperated sigh.

"That's the guy helping Kanaya with the dresses?" you ask, half-annoyed and half amused.

"Yeah. Ain't he cheerful?" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"He'th nithe to be around when heth in a good mood, but otherwithe it'th a fucking nightmare. I love him, though, tho I ain't goin' anywhere." he reminisces.

"Well, he might if you DON'T go somewhere, somewhere being outside, so you might want to skedaddle." You say.

"Right, right. Later!" he says, closing the door and racing down the steps.

You relax on the couch next to Jake.

"Well. That was awkward." You say.

"Yup. Hey, c'mon. I'm tired and I want to cuddle." Jake says, dragging you over to the bedroom before a night of sleep.

Jeez, what a day.

**HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY guys. /)^3^(\**

**Sorry this came out today instead of yesterday, but on the brightside you go one less day without going bat-shit insane! :D**

**However, I'm leaving tomorrow and won't be back till Tuesday, soo...**

**Share, review, and stay sane until I get back! ;3**


	22. Chapter 21

Your name is Jake and the wedding is in 3 days.

All the invitations were sent out and the guest list is only about 20-or-so people long.

However, these are all people that Rose and Kanaya are good friends with.

Mr. Ampora, Mr. Captor, Meenah and Aranea (because Aranea turned out to be Vriska's 'baby' cousin), the workers at the restaurant you went to, who turned out to be close friends of Kanaya's (meaning Gamzee, Karkat, and Feferi), a friend of Kanaya's from college named Aradia, Vriska's brother Equius and his friend Nepeta who knew Rose and Kanaya quite well, being ex-employees of the bookstore (Nepeta had a habit of stealing all books involving cats and Equius had a habit of scaring off the customers), a man named Tavros who used to be baby-sat by Kanaya and she had taken a fondness (in a motherly way) for, and Rose's friend Terezi who would join in her knitting with toy dragons she sewed herself. She was blind but had quite the knack for sewing. Color you impressed.

Other than that it was you, Dirk, Roxy, Jane, and Jane's grandfather! John had been a common customer at the bookstore and became Rose's good friend before he had to leave for Washington. She stayed in touch and had long conversations on several subjects, apparently.

Either way the guest list is gathered and the decorations are being set up (because instead of having to yell at someone to rent out a chapel, Vriska found an abandoned one on a hill. Even better.

Kanaya has gone full fashionista and is currently experimenting with position and location of certain lights, fabrics, and flowers.

"No. No No No I Asked Specifically For There To Be 4 Green Roses And Four Purple Roses In Each Cup At Each Table. And That Fabric Needs To Be Turned 12 Degrees Counter-Clockwise!" She is commanding, as Eridan (who sounded quite forceful on the phone with Sollux, but was bowing down to every action Kanaya asked for) scurried across the room doing things.

"I'm sorry, sorry! It's just reely hard an' all to remember evverything wwhen you speak so quickly!" He says, panting and running.

Kanaya apparently feels bad and walks up to him, stops him, and gives him a quick hug.

"I'm Sorry, Dear. I Just Want Everything To Be Perfect, Especially When This Is My Area Own Wedding." She explains.

Eridan sighs and hugs her back, brief and gentle.

"I understand. I wwant this to be good for you too. Howwevver you need to be a bit slowwer and a bit calmer. The wwedding's in 3 days. Relax a little." He says, rubbing her back.

"I'll givve you anythin' you need. Anythin'! You are the one wwho got me my first job, after all." He says, smiling.

"Yes, Eridan, I Remember." Kanaya chuckles.

They get back to work (Kanaya taking Eridan's advice and relaxing a bit) and Sollux tests the sounds and lighting.

"Sollux. Sollux! I told you to not test anything until Kanaya and Eridan are cleared out of here! Kanaya's ears have been very sensitive this past weekend! We don't need any of these lights hurting her eyes, either! She might be having a migraine and I will be damned if you hurt her even more and-!" Rose starts, on the war-path.

You choose that moment to go back down to the common room of the chapel and sit yourself down next to Dirk.

"Wow. And I thought a wedding with ONE Bridezilla was bad. This one has two!" You joke, Roxy, Jane, Dirk, and Vriska laughing.

"Weeeeeeeell... getting married has been Kanaya's dream foreeeeeeeever. She reeeeeeeeally wants it to be done her way, the right way, and the..." She paused so she could flip her hair. "_**FAAAAAAAABULOUS**_ way."

Everyone laughed again and all were having a good time.

**********Be Dirk******

Your name is Dirk and you are taking your mother out for drinks because the wedding is in 2 days.

Vriska and some of Kanaya's other friends are taking her out for drinks at a different place at the same moment.

You had decided that drinking would NOT be the best idea the NIGHT BEFORE the wedding.

"Dirk, may I ask why you are being so nice and buying all of these drinks for me?" your mom asked.

"Cuase mooom! you are totoo bootiful and bridezy to be buyin' your ownn drinkses when youre gettin' mahried soon!" Roxy babbled, being caught by the sober Jane (who was not 21, but she was not buying drinks so she didn't need to get carded.)

"Roxy, do you think you've had enough tonight?" Jane asked/suggested.

"Naaaaaaah wahat makes you tinkh that..?" Roxy asked before passing out in Jane's arms right there.

Jane sighed heavily and sat with Roxy's head in her lap in the corner.

You, Jake, and mom chuckled and took a sip of the assorted drinks you were sharing.

"So, mom. Have you and Kanaya fucked yet?" You brought up abruptly.

You're not sure why, you just felt like it needed to be said.

Jake is gawking at you with a look that portrays the 'HOW COULD YOU EVER ASK THAT SO CASUALLY AND IN A PUBLIC PLACE TOO-' look that only Jake can pull off.

"Well. If you _must_ know, Dirk, we actually do have sex. She is quite lovely at it. As you can see..." She says, revealing her upper-neck to show-off several (and by that you mean EIGHT) hickeys.

"God damn. She's a biter, then." you conclude.

She nods and takes a drink, smirking.

You have a nice night with your mom before you all pile into the van, with Jane driving and Roxy snoring in the passenger seat.

"Hm. I'm pretty sure this is the first time since she was 12 that I've seen my daughter _this_ drunk." Rose muses, coming down from her buzz quickly.

Jake straightens up.

"_12?_" He yelps.

"Yes. She would break into the liquor cabinet as her father and I slept. However, one morning I found her, still awake but still very drunk, and the poor thing felt like she was dying." Rose reminisced.

"She is very very drunk right now, too, however she has learned to enjoy the buzz. She'll hate tomorrow morning, though." she warns.

"I know, Ms. Lalonde. I've lived with Roxy for a year and a half, so I should know what her hangovers are like." Jane grumbles, patting Roxy's head.

You can't help but chuckle as you relax the rest of the way home, Jane dropping you and Jake off at the apartment.

"Bye Jane, and good luck with Roxy!" Jake shouts as Jane rolls her eyes and drives off again.

"Well. Shall we wait until we're sober to work on my mom's present, or shall we get some work in now?" You ask.

"I'll work on it for 20 minutes but then I'm going to go to sleep." Jake tells you.

The thing that you are working on is, in a word: spectacular.

You found all of the first edition books, all of the gothy figurines, and all of the favorite author's books, got them signed, and you are organizing an entire bookshelf of them, and they shall use the black and white of the bindings to make the monogram 'K + R', or at least until they want to organize them differently. The top shelf shall be devoted to the figurines, though the figurines will be kept in aseparate basket until 5 minutes before the present is revealed.

"I believe..." you start, standing up. "That that is the closest we'll get to the monogram we want." You tell Jake.

He nods and gets up, kind of shakily.

"Fuck. Jake, you really need to learn to drink a _little_ less. No one needs to see your drunken weird thinkings." You chuckle, picking him up bridal style again.

You fall asleep and dream.

************Be Dirk's Dream********

"I do, sir." Jake says. There are petals flowing everywhere, you're wearing suits, and Roxy and Jane are bawling in the front row.

"May I pronounce you: husbands. You may kiss the groom." the man at the alter says.

You lean in and kiss Jake, and for some reason, there is more significance to it than your other kisses. You can feel it.

People are throwing tic-tacs at you from little baskets and you carry him to a car, which has been thoroughly decorated with paint and tinsel.

You look down at your finger and there is a gold ring, a matching one on Jake's hand.

You like the way that all of this looks. You like the way Jake feels closer now, closer than he did before.

***********Be Awake***********

Your name is Dirk and you just woke up in a cold sweat. You just had a dream where you and Jake got married, and you've been having a very similar dream for the past few weeks.

Your name is Dirk, and you are thinking about marrying Jake English.

**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I'M BACK! :D**

**I hope that nobody here went thoroughly insane while I was gone.**

**Either way, hope you enjoyed the chapter. **

**However, it is now 4:30 in the morning and I'm tired as fuck.**

**Maybe another chapter later. **_**Maybe.**_

**Share and Review! ;3**


	23. Chapter 22

Your name is Dirk and you absolutely love the way that Jake looks in a tux.

He has a black tux with a jade-green rose in it and he has an emrald tie to match his eyes. The tux hugs his body well and doesn't look boxy over his broad shoulders.

You are wearing a similar tux but with a purple rose in it. You had to get it custom tailored to fit your slim shoulders, but it didn't take too much time or effort.

Everyone is sitting down and the reception is gonna start soon, so you take a seat on Rose's side as Jake takes a seat on Kanaya's.

As it turns out, Karkat (the grumpy waitor) has a father who is a preacher, and he is the one doing a ceremony.

"Friends. Family. All those who have a special significance to the lovely couple being wedded today." He starts. He's got dark circles under his eyes and his black suit has a red trim on every edge. He speaks low and calmly, with a tired-looking smile.

"We are gathered in this... not-traditional setting, so we can see the joining of Kanaya Maryam, and Rose Lalonde." He says.

"WOO!" Roxy shouts, pumping her fist in the air, everyone turning to look at her, as Jane sits her down calmly, mouthing 'sorry' to Mr. Vantas.

"We shall not want to take up too much of the time for the actual wedding process, and shall instead speed up to vows. Kanaya," He starts, turning towards Kanaya.

"Do you, take Rose Lalonde, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I Do, Sir." She says, nodding towards Rose, smiling.

"And do you, Rose Lalonde, take Kanaya Maryam, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I most certainly do." She nods, smiling sweetly.

"Are there any in the crowd who object to these two getting married? If so, speak now, or forever hold your peace." He says.

You look around, and not a single one in the room is objecting.

"Well. By the powers invested in me, I now pronounce these two wedded, and lovely brides. Do partake in kissing to seal the ceremony." He concludes.

The two kiss and the whole crowd is cheering, Roxy the loudest, and pictures are taken by Eridan, who is on the verge of tears.

Oh for fuck's sake.

They are holding eachother and smiling, posing for the camera, when suddenly you hear the sound of a helicoptor.

What...

Oh god...

Fuck...

FUCK.

Everyone is looking around, scared, when suddenly a box is dropped through a hole in the roof.

You walk over and pick it up, reading the note on the outside.

_did you guys really think i wasnt gonna find out_

_really_

_well anyway i thought that i would decide to be a bit less of an asshole and feel good for rose for once_

_inside is a nice present for the new gothy wives_

_dirk_

_im sorry for everything_

_the shit i put you through_

_the shit i wouldnt apologize for_

_leaving you alone_

_and i must say that im proud of you_

_you dove forty feet and tackled me to the ground and got up without a scratch_

_props for that_

_best of luck to you all and i hope that you forgive me enough to talk to me online_

_text me_

_call_

_bye guys_

_~dave motherfuckin strider_

After reading through the note you read it aloud, leaving out the part addressed to you, but you can't help but feel a tear well up in your eye when you read that he's apologizing and he's proud of you.

"Well. Looks like Dave is growing up enough to learn when enough bullshit is enough. Good for him." Rose says.

"MOOOOOOM you are fortetgig the best part! Open your prestsent!" Roxy bubbles.

Rose picks up the box and when she opens it, she and Kanaya gasp in unison.

They pull out two matching necklaces, each with every other bead either jade-green or violet. There is a main pendant on each which is black and victorian style. One has a jade-green Virgo symbol in the middle, and the other is Rose's signature, also in violet.

The two immediately put them on and are not surprised when they fit gloriously. Not too loose but not too tight. Elegant and attention catching.

They look in the box again and find that your dad is still assholish when they see that he also has a vibrator in the bottom of the box.

You, Roxy, and Vriska are snickering, while everyone else is looking away embarrassed.

They put the vibrator back in the box and put it away, but keeping the necklaces on proudly.

"Well. If There Are No More Distractions, Shall The Party Commence?" Kanaya brings up.

Everyone nods, going downstairs to where the party was set up.

Everyone waits for the music to start, and Sollux puts in the first track, which is a violin solo with a pop and dance beat under it, and it's fucking awesome.

Everyone's dancing and the lights are going everywhere.

**********Be Jake*********

Your name is Jake and everyone is settling down because it is time for toasts.

"I Believe It Would Be Appropriate If I Would Have The First Toast?" Kanaya asks. Everyone nods and lets her start her toast.

She talks about how she met Rose, seeing her in the corner of the bookstore everyday with two children, crying silently as she read. She grew fond of her and would spend time with her, through the awful after-events of an ugly divorce. She would help her pick out books and eventually hired her, spending even more time and getting to know her even better.

Everyone clapped at the end of her toast with her ending line of: "There Is Not A Single Person I Would Rather Spend The Rest Of My Life With. I Love You My Dear," kissing Rose on the cheek shortly after.

"Uh... I, would like to make a toast..." A shy looking fellow (who you remembered was named Tavros) rolled up in his wheel-chair.

"I... I've known Kanaya for a...really long time. She was my babysitter... and she helped me feel confident! She taught me to just act like I want to... even if I'm disabled. She told me that one day, it would be like these legs would come off and brand-new shiny ones that worked would be in their place. While that day has, yet to come, I'm happy for Kanaya because her old, lonely life, came off...like my legs would, and a shiny new relationship... is here..." He starts. He's rather adorable and stutters a bit, but he gets the point across.

Everyone is clapping for him (especially the distracted waitor, his boy-friend glaring at him hard) and he rolls back over to his table and it looks like-

Oh gosh.

Roxy is getting up to make a toast.

"Hiya every-own... I'm not normlaly one for words... mostly cause I screw 'em up a whole-lotta the time. But I know that my mom has been through some pretty tough shit. She had a tough marriage wiht my dad... who was kind of an ass-shole to her... and Dirky... and I'm not sayin' he was an asshole to me, but I sort of wasn't the best child for my mom to handle, drinkin' and all..."

Rose is nodding at her, showing that she forgives her.

"HOWVEVER! She has always been there for us... beein' a great mom an' beinfg smart. And now she was smart yet again and is gettin' married to a practical wonan! Let's all cheer her on for thaqt shit!" She said, raising her glass and trying to clap at the same time, effectively spilling half of her drink all over the floor.

No one cares, though, and everyone toasts and claps as well (albeit more gracefully than Roxy.)

After all of the toasts are made, everyone goes back to eating and dancing, having a fun night.

*********Be Dirk*********

Your name is Dirk and you are taking Rose and Kanaya back to their gothy love nest they call an apartment.

They wave you off and they go inside, starting a make-out before they even close the door all the way.

Whatever.

You drive home and take Jake inside, falling asleep immediately because it's somewhere around 6 in the morning and you were up all night.

You wake up a few hours later, before Jake does, and you silently go into the living room to eat breakfast.

You yet again had the dream about marrying Jake, only there was more detail: who the guests were, who the best man was, what the rings looked like.

You just can't shake the feeling that you really do want to spend the rest of your life with Jake.

That's it. You can't take it anymore.

You go to the local jewelry store and by a cheap-ass gold ring.

You go back home and you melt down the gold and make a jewel for it. An emerald in the shape of a skull.

You fasten that in the gold and allow it to cool down.

Wow. You just made an engagement ring for your boyfriend in an hour.

You find a box for it and hide it away. Somewhere he wouldn't find it.

You want to wait until the time is perfect.

You want everything to be perfect.

Because only perfection is what Jake should get.

**RTOGHOSRITGBRTHRGJS WEDDINGS YAAAAAAAAAAAY!**

**How do I wedding structure, I don't even. The vows... the fucking declaration... the toasts.. *sobs***

**Anyway...Yeah. This was a fun chapter.**

**Share and review! ;3**


	24. Chapter 23

Your name is Roxy and as a post wedding present to your mom, you're taking everyone out to the carnival.

Because there is no way that you could ever top Dirk and Jake's present seriously an entire library with figurines and books god damn.

Anyway you're taking everyone to the carnival. It's night time and the place is all lit up. Like the Fourth of July.

Incidentally, it **_is_** the Fourth of July.

"JAAAAAAAAANEY! We totes gotta go on da ferris wehell!" You shout towards Jane.

You see Jake perk up and turn to Dirk.

"Oh, Dirk! I want to go on the ferris wheel too! I'll bet the view is jolly grand! I've never been to a carnival before!" He practically squeals.

You and Dirk look at each other and wink.

The two of you had talked about his plans. You hadn't told Jane, (though it took a great deal of your will-power) because she can't keep a secret to save her life, but you and Dirk had disgussed it profusely.

You two had planned out the whole thing. Dirk and Jake would have a really fun night, and then they'd ride the ferris wheel, (You convincing the ferris wheel guy to make them stop at the top) he'd turn, propose, and live happily ever after. (At least that's how you thought it would go down.)

Either way you see Dirk dragging Jake off to a bunch of rides, games, and raffles. You were on the other side of the carnival, but you could hear their screaming and laughing.

************Be Dirk********

Your name is Dirk and you have just gotten off a rollercoaster.

Note that you haven't been to an amusement park since you were six, before your dad up and left.

It was exhilerating, but you managed to keep just a smidgen of cool, not losing your shit like Jake did.

"Dirk! That was by far... by far the MOST thrilling experience... I have ever had... in my whole life!" He shouts.

You decide to try and regain the cool you may have lost by saying something sarcastic and stupid.

"I thought that's what you think when you have sex with me." You say, smirking.

"Well, that I can have at any old time, and while yes, it's amazing, that ride is great." He says.

Hunh, didn't think he'd be able to keep up and not stammer like normal.

"Well. Didn't you say you wanted to go on the ferris wheel?" You bring up.

His eyes light up and he grabs your arm.

"Oh YES! I almost forgot! Which way is it Dirk?" He screams.

"This way." you say.

You reach into your pocket and quickly text the word 'Now.' to Roxy.

You get the reply 'Oh Rihtg! On my way! ;3' and you head over to the ferris wheel.

"Hello. Would you like to ride?" The man at the front of the line waiting at the ferris wheel says.

"No. I thought waiting in line for a half hour to have a conversation with you would be a real doozy." You say.

"DIRK!" Jake complains.

"Fine, fine. We'd like to ride."

He rolls his eyes and lets you on.

You take a look at the car and see it's number 8.

You text '8' to Roxy, with 'i got tit!' being the reply back.

You put your phone away and you go up.

*****Be Roxy***

Now? But it's the best part!

Sigh.

Your name is Roxy and you are sneaking up behind the man at the line for the ferris wheel.

You tap him on the shoulder just as the ride is starting.

"Hey. Can you make sure that car numbre 8 stops at teh top o' the ried?" You ask.

He looks at you, raising a brow skeptically.

"Pleeeeease? My brother's gonan porpose and we need everythin' to be perfrect!" You say, making your eyes wide.

"Propose...PROPOSE! Oh well why didn't you say so? This is going to be so romantic, oh my god!" The man squeals.

He pulls a lever and you look up, seeing Jake and Dirk at the top.

You smile, nod at the man, and walk off to collect people.

"My work here is done." You say to yourself, a curious Jane nagging your arm.

"What was that about proposing? Dirk or Jake? Tell me!" She batters.

Oh she's so cute.

"I'll tell you later, Janey." You say, walking away.

***********Be Jake*****

Your name is Jake and you are at the top of the ferris wheel, looking out at the ocean.

"Dirk! Look! We're at the top! Oh look at this view! The ocean! Oh golly look at the sky! You can see the stars!" You shout, grabbing his arm and pointing.

He's smiling at you, reaching into his pocket.

"Are you going to take a picture or something?" You ask, tilting your head.

He pulls something out. It's not his phone. It looks like a little box...

A little... velvet box...

What...

WHAT...

"D-Dirk... is that... is that what I think that is? Are you serious?" You're blabbering.

"Jake... I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I want to be with you forever... help you with your bipolar disorder... have a family... will you, Jake English... marry me?"

It's so beautiful... you couldn't decline.

You felt the same way, after all.

"Dirk... yes! Yes Dirk I would!" You say, grappling your arms around his neck.

He's smiling... laughing, actually. You realize this is the first time you've heard him really laugh.

He pulls you off of him and he grabs your finger.

He puts a gold ring on it, with a jewel that's-

Is that an emerald...

Is that a skull?

It's so... you!

You hug him again, looking out at the stars and ocean.

You turn your head and you see... tears.

He's crying.

And smiling.

You make this man happy to the point of tears.

His orange eyes are shining, and they are gorgeous.

You feel a tear on your own cheek as well.

You hear a cheer and look down to see that Roxy, Jane, Rose, Kanaya, Aranea, and Meenah are all at the bottom of the ferris wheel, cheering.

"YE-UUUUUUH! DUDES GON' GET MARRIED!" Roxy screams.

Aranea smiles up at you, Rose and Kanaya with her, quietly congratulating and clapping.

Meenah is cheering as loud as Roxy, while Jane is just smiling at everyone, trying to get them to calm down because for god's sake you're in public.

You know they won't calm down.

You wouldn't have calmed down.

Not if you tried.

**Anyone else happy for them? Anyone?**

**I'm on the verge of cheering at my own fic here.**

**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**

**Share, Review, and feel free to make art (for any point in this story) and send it to me ;3**


	25. Chapter 24

Your name is Jake and neither you nor Dirk plan to have a very big wedding.

Your grandmother will be there, his parents will be there, Roxy and Jane will be there, Kanaya will be there, and that's it.

You plan on getting married in a fun party with just your friends.

You are walking into Rose's bookshop, when you see Dirk sitting at a table. There's a phone on the table (obviously set on speaker) and you see him-

Oh god, he's crying.

"Just know I'm happy for you, kid." You hear an adult's voice on the other end.

"R...really?" Dirk sniffles.

"Really. If you want, I could come as a dj for the event, to sort of... apologize. I could teach you some of my sick beats, even." He says, and you figure out that it's Dirk's father.

"Thanks, dad. That'd be awesome." Dirk croaks.

"See you, Dirk. Love you."

Dirk jumps, but nods, replying 'I love you too.' before hanging up, folding his arms on the table and placing his forhead on them.

This must be really stressful on Dirk.

You walk up nearly silently, and you put your arms around his torso.

He jumps again, orange eyes shiny with tears.

You take the corner of your finger and wipe the tears away, holding him tightly.

You continue to hold him tightly.

"Everything's gonna be fine, chap." You say.

He chuckles and you can feel him smiling.

**********Be Dirk*****

Your name is Dirk and you are waiting on the roof of your apartment, when you hear it.

You hear the thrum of your dad's helicoptor as it descends.

You see a ladder drop down and he climbs down it.

He's got a duffel bag and you realize he's here to stay for the weekend.

You're not ready to hug him. Not yet.

"Hey...dad. You gonna stay after the wedding or are you gonna be 'ironic' again and take off in the helicoptor the moment after you toast?" You ask, smirking.

"Huh. I hadn't thought of that. Good idea kid." He says, ruffling your hair.

You take him inside and he immediately throws his shit on the couch.

"I call the couch." He says.

"Yeah, like you'd be forced to sleep anywhere else." You mumble to yourself.

Jake walks in the room and he looks at him.

"So, looks like you got your bipolar-shit under control?" He asks, smirking.

Jake stutters, and looks at you, not knowing what to do.

"Hey, dude. Lay off." You say.

He puts his hands up in defeat, knowing when to stop.

Thank god.

The three of you spend the next several days deciding on tracks that everyone's comfortable dancing to, and you convince Rose and Kanaya to have the wedding at the bookstore. They close the place for the week and you and Dave go out and buy a dozen boxes of plastic wrap.

You wrap up every single bookshelf so none of the books go anywhere, and you move all the shelves to the edges.

You set up the stupid 'ironic' wedding gate, and the 6 chairs don't even make an aisle.

There's no need.

It's 6 fucking chairs.

You get the flower petals and throw them everywhere.

Cause why the fuck not.

You decide to call Mr. Vantas to do the sermon again. The dude's a good preacher.

*******Be Rose*******

Your name is Rose and wait...

This is the first time you've been the narrator.

Too bad this is the second to last chapter.

Oh well.

Your name is Rose and you are helping your son into a suit.

It's got an orange trim, an orange tie, and his hair is just as spiky as usual.

You're there to make sure he looks good, because even if there's only going to be 6 people there, you want your son to look nice on his wedding day, dammit.

"Dear, you've got to make sure everything looks good because I _**WILL**_have people there taking pictures." You warn.

"Hey. Rose." Dave comes in.

You scowl at him, but you go back to the corner.

"You ready for your big day, sport?" He asks.

"I'm 22, getting married, and you haven't been my father long enough to call me sport." Dirk retorts.

You observe the scene in which Dave apologizes (again) for not being there Dirk's whole life. He says that there was so much for him in California and he was stupid at his young age.

Dirk hugs his arm lightly before shooing him out so you can fix him the rest of the way up.

"There. That should be good. Hold on a moment." You say, twisting his tie slightly so it's centered, and twisting his sleeve so it isn't wrinkled.

"Finished. Oh, you look gorgeous my dear." You say.

Dirk rolls his eyes, before giving you a hug.

You bring your mouth close to his ear.

"You and I both know that you are a long way away from forgiving your father." You say.

He nods, giving you a 'he's working on it' and that he want to be alone for a few minutes.

You leave his changing room and go into the hallway, hearing the skirmishes between Kanaya and Jake as she tries to do something similar to Jake that you did to Dirk, only... a bit more extreme.

"Dear, You've Got Scars All Over Your Face. Don't You Want To Look Nice?" You hear her.

You can hear the twitch in her voice from perfectionism.

"Don't you lie to me! That is _**MAKEUP**_! Men do NOT wear MAKEUP!"

"Oh Come On, Dear. It Is _**Hardly **_Makeup. It Is Foundation That Is Like A Second Skin To Cover Any... Imperfections."

"What you're calling "imperfect" is my fucking FACE! LEAVE IT ALONE!" Jake shouts.

You flee that scene chuckling.

You go over and sit next to a very elderly woman sitting on a pile of pillows in the corner.

She has grey heair, but the tips show it used to be a nice dark dark brown.

She has big circular glasses.

"Hello, Jade, long time no see." You say, sitting next to her, calmly.

"Oh my goodness. ROSE? Is that you? I'm so sorry I missed your wedding. I wanted to come but the stupid fucking old age home wouldn't let me come. How are you? How's Dave? Wow, I can't believe you two had kids and everything! I'm so sorry I wasn't arou-mmmmmph!" She says, but you cut her off with a pillow to her face. (Put there lightly, because after all, she's still old.)

"Yes, Yes. All that did happen. However Dave was quite stupid for a while. He's here, actually, if you want to talk to him." You reply.

"I heard my name?" Dave comes over.

Jade punches him in the arm (a little weakly, but you can tell there was a little force) and pulls a face that is just so... Jade.

"DAVEY! I hear you were being stupid! Explain yourself, or you won't get a hug out of me!" She says, crossing her arms and pouting.

She really does rock the 'cranky granny' look.

"Well... I sorta abandoned my family, gave a blind eye to my drunken daughter, left to Cali, and when I popped back into Dirk's life... he basically told me everything about me that was wrong." He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Jade is still scowling, but her eyes look a little lighter.

"Glad you acknowlege everything. Now hug me you adorable dope!" Jade said, opening her arms.

"You're one to be calling people an adorable dope."

"Yes! I am!" She said, proudly.

Dave hugged her tight (but not too tight, you hope) and whispered something that anyone farther away than you would not have heard.

"I still don't forget the fact that you saved my life. You better not either."

Jade nods and you all suddenly hear organ music, and you hear an exasperated sigh like she's given up, a grunt from Dirk, and you realize it's show-time.

******Be Dirk*********

You are once again Dirk, and your mother has her arm interlocked with yours, walking you down the aisle.

You were NOT going to have your dad do it.

You are walked up the aisle and you turn to Mr. Vantas and nod.

You turn around and see Jake is walking down the aisle, but with his little old granny walking him. She's got grey hair, big round glasses, and you'll be damned if she's not the one Jake got his teeth from.

He walks up to you, nods to Mr. Vantas as well, pecks your cheek, and awaits the ceremony to start.

"We are gathered, few of us there are, to witness the wedding of Dirk Strider... and Jake English. They have requested that they write their own vows, and that mine won't be necessary."

Jake looks at you, nods, and takes out his paper.

"Dirk. You are perfect. Perhaps not to you, but to me, you are. You're always there, always able to be counted on, willing to drop everything if I need help, and you always do. You are there for me, kind to me, love me, and I'll be damned if it isn't just jolly good having you around!" He says, smiling his toothy grin.

You smile back.

"You are the greatest man a different man could ask for. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Dirk."

You smile. It's a nice, big, genuine smile.

You pull out your speech.

"Jake. You complete me. You are adventurous, wild, adorable, spontaneous, and willing to do anything as long as I'm by your side. The latter is true to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you as well, and know that no matter what. Together we shall ride our sugoi yaoi ship into the heavens. Together forever."

Everyone is snickering, even Mr. Vantas, but everyone got the point of the speeches anyway.

"Do you take each other, Dirk and Jake, to be lawfully wedded husbands?" Mr. Vantas begins to conclude.

"I do." You two say together.

"I pronounce you: husbands! Kiss!" He said, concludingly.

You two kiss, and the few people in the room are clapping and cheering.

You each put on a ring, 'Dirk Strider' written in green on the inside of your ring, and 'Jake English' written in orange on the inside of his.

**********Be Jake******

Your name is Jake and you are a married man!

WOOOOOO!

You get home later that night (much later and you are fucking EXHAUSTED!

Roxy made YET ANOTHER bubbly-yet-drunk toast, and Dirk's dad did indeed ride off in a helicoptor after he made his toast.

You get home and snuggle with Dirk, telling him about your adventures with Kanaya about not having make-up.

After punching him lightly for saying you'd wear make-up really well, the two of you fall asleep.

You really are married. It really did happen.

You really are the luckiest man on earth.

**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! MAWWAIGE!**

**If it was unclear in this chapter, the next chapter will be the last.**

**Heart-wrenching, I know.**

**I'll still write fics, trust me.**

**They just... won't be as long as this one.**

**Next chapter will exist!**

**Share, Review, and if you're so desperate: re-read the story! ;3**

***Note: If anyone sends me fanart for this story, after the last chapter I'll wait a week to gather fanart up. I'll post it in one final chapter (with directions as to what chapters they go to) after that final chapter I'll call the story complete and you can move on from this fic (specifically) Just warning you before the next and last chapter ^3^**


	26. Epilogue

_**********Years in the Future, But Not Many******_

"Daddyyyyyy! Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy! Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up!" A little girl named Jackie is shouting at her fathers, sleeping in their bed.

"Dirk. Today wouldn't happen to be September the 12th, would it?" Jake English asks his husband, Dirk Strider.

"By god it must be. Jackie, get off my face, I'm up." He says, orange eyes looking into green ones.

"Daddy. Why don't you wear your shades around us, but you do in public?" She asks.

Dirk pulls her into her lap.

"How many times have you asked me that?" He asks.

"7, I think!" She blunders.

"I meant throughout your whole life." He says, smirking.

"Oh... a hundred?" She guesses.

Dirk looks up at the ceiling and puts a finger on his chin, contemplating it.

"Sounds about right." He says. Jackie giggles.

"And you always said they'd be too dazzling for normal people!" She giggles again.

"That's right. Now get yourself dressed. First grade is too fancy to wear pajamas to school to." Dirk says, ruffling Jackie's hair.

"Okay daddy!"

Dirk got up and went into the children's room. There she was. Daisy was sitting at her little desk, fiddling with pipe-cleaners, rubber-bands, a little motor, and batteries.

She had dark circles under her eyes.

Dirk tutted, causing her to jump.

"I told you to stop waking up so early to work on things." He said.

Daisy blushed, showing her father the thing she was working on.

"But daddy... it even flies..." she mumbled.

She was so much like her father: all action, no words.

He twisted the rubber band, and sure enough, it flew. However, even after the rubber band was straight again, it kept flying.

The ends of the pipe-cleaners were connecting the motor to the battery, giving it enough power to keep spinning.

'Damn.' Dirk thinks to himself.

When Dirk was a child, he couldn't build anything functioning until he was 11.

His little girl was 6 and she was building flying machines.

"I'll put it on the shelf and we can admire it later. But right now you need to get dressed, eat, and head off to the first day of first grade." Dirk says, calmly.

She looks at him with golden-orange eyes that look like fire, however they are glazed with fatigue.

"O-okay daddy..." She says, sleepily.

Dirk picked her up and pulled her onto his shoulders.

He got her dressed and got her to eat breakfast (toast, because if he gave her a fork or spoon she'd bend it into parts) and gave her her lunch.

"Jake's gonna take you two to school today, okay? Make sure he makes a good impression for me." Dirk says, smiling and ruffling his kids' hair.

"Okay daddy! I promise!" Jackie said, kissing his cheek, cargo shorts and jacket stuffed with snacks.

"And Daisy. You need to wear these sunglasses. You know why your name is Daisy? It means 'Day's Eyes', and it fits pretty well. Your eyes are the color of the sun. This means that your friends might be freaked out, aaaaand your eyes are pretty sensitive to the sun as well. I have a note that says you can wear your shades all day," He paused, handing her the note. He then pointed to Jackie. "Make sure your sister doesn't get into too much trouble with her adventurous mayhem, okay?"

Daisy nodded, hugging her dad's hand.

She ran off to the car, where Jake drove them to school.

Dirk's phone rings, the familiar old pop tune screaming 'SHOTS' at him.

"Hey Rox-" he starts, before he is cut off by a bubbly semi-sober friend.

"Hyeeeeeeeeee! Dirky, has my chirldren left fo school yet?" She says, shouting.

"Well, they're Jake's and my kids too, but yeah, they have." Dirk responded calmly.

Roxy had been the birth mother for Dirk and Jake. It was pretty spectacular, how fast. Jackie was almost seven, while Daisy had just turned six.

"It's sorprisin' hwow much they look like the two a yous. Good on my womb! Give the men what they WANT!"

'Oh brother' Dirk thinks.

"Listen, anything important you want to ask them? For the record, John and Rosy look a lot like you and Jane." Dirk adds.

Roxy had been the birthmother for them... under the condition that they find sperm doners for Jane to have kids of their own.

The reason she had you **find** a doner: she wanted your kids to date, and she really didn't want incest, cause ew.

"I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Aaaaaaaaanyway. John and Rosy won't be goin' off ta frist grade fro another two yers, bein' all young an' all. Anyway we should totes hang out soon!" Roxy says.

"Sure. We can have the kids have a sleep over and we'll hang out downstairs. John won't mind being the only boy there, will he?"

"Naaaaaah he lives with three other girls all da time, dis won't be any diffrnet."

"Great. Bye. I have to go find my kid's design for a flying do-hick. See you." He said, before hanging up.

Somewhere farther down a two mile road, Jake English is driving his kids to first grade.

"Alright, kids! We all promised to have a jolly good first day to things, right?" Jake says, cheerily.

"YEAH! I'm gonna make a TON of friends and we'll climb around, make forts! It'll be AWESOOOOOOOME!" Jackie yells from her chair.

"Maybe I'll find someone who could help me build things... or keep others away while being interested in what I do...at least..." Daisy mumbled to herself, fiddling with the rubber band on her wrist.

'Poor thing, always wanting to spend time all cooped up and building... was this how Dirk felt?' Jake thought to himself.

"Weeeeeeeell. We'll find out, won't we? Cause we're here!"

This earned an excited cheer out of Jackie and a quiet groan from Daisy.

Jake let them out of the car, Jackie running inside with her jacket flowing everywhere, Daisy walking, finding a spare nail on the ground and smiling.

"Hello. My name is Mary Dolorosa, but you can call me Ms. Mary." The teacher says to the kids who are there.

"Hello, Mary. These are my kids, Jackie and Daisy. Say hi kids!" Jake says, pushing his kids towards her.

"MY NAME IS JACKIE AND I'M GONNA BE AN ADVENTURER JUST LIKE MY DADDY!" She says, fist in the air.

"Very nice to meet you, Jackie! And who are you, sweetie?" Mary asks, turning to Daisy.

"My name is Daisy English-Strider and it's nice to meet you..." Daisy mumbles, stairing at her feet, extending her hand that doesn't have the nail in it out to the teacher.

"Wow. Nice to meet you. So polite, but so quiet! You and your sister must be so different! What's in your other hand, dear?"

"A-a nail..." She replied, worried.

"What were you planning to do with it, Daisy?" Mary asks, confused.

"I-I was gonna use it to build something... or improve something else..." She says, looking around, paranoid.

"Build something? Would you show me quickly?" Mary asks.

Daisy's eyes light up immediately, and you can almost tell their eye color through her sunglasses.

She goes over to a little table, and after taking apart some scissors for the screws in the middle, using a few rulers, the inner-ring from a globe, and the batteries from a talking toy, she made a little flying disk.

Once thrown it could go for minutes, flying on its own.

"Amazing! Well done! I do hope you'll show the class later!"

Daisy's eyes were, again, sparkling, and she was jumping up and down.

She accidentally knocked off her sunglasses, sending them across the floor.

Her pupils retracted immediately, and she covered her eyes.

"DAISY!" Jackie ran over to her.

Jackie grabbed Daisy's sunglasses and put them on her face.

"Better? Better? Are you alright Daisy?" Jackie is shouting. Daisy takes her hands off her face and nods.

Jake is looking at them, seeing how they take care of eachother and that they help eachother.

"It seems your kids have themselves all set, and you seem really nice. Is your wife going to come later?" Mary asks.

Jake looks at her a little awkwardly.

"Well... he's not my wife, but he will come later this week." He says, tentatively.

Mary just sat there and smiled.

"No need to be shy. We don't discriminate here. Oreo?" she says, offering Jake a plate of Oreos.

Jake denied (politely) and left, hugging his children.

Jake looked over and saw Daisy playing with a child who was wearing a baseball cap (backwards) and a red hoodie. The two of them were playing and building a little structure, but knowing Daisy, Jake knew she'd make it fucking spectacular.

Jake and Dirk sat on the couch, in their apartment that they had not left in 10 years. They sat and read, waiting for their children to come home.

Daisy ran in, just then, from the bus, backpack jingling with parts and trinkets ('Oh no' Jake thought. 'That's my girl' Dirk thought.)

"Daddy! I met a boy today named Squarewave! We built things and rapped and it was AWESOME!" Daisy said, hugging Dirk and Jake.

Jackie ran in, a little slower.

"Something wrong, Jackie?" Jake asked.

"This boy I met didn't think I was up for an adventure like him, and I tried to prove it, but he said girls didn't do adventures." She sniffled.

Jake picked her up into his arms.

"Oh, sweetie. The world is full of idiots, but they're learning. You can have adventures ten times more fun without him. He can have his own lame adventures while you're off having spectacular ones." Jake said, smiling.

Jackie giggled and said 'thanks daddy' before going to her room to read some more adventure books.

Daisy assembled some things right quick and set them flying through the apartment, pulling the plans out for them and putting them in her binder of designs, while Dirk went around, catching the machines and turning them off, setting them on the shelf of inventions.

'Hmm. She really likes making things that fly.' Dirk thought.

They had a nice dinner (Texan style, cause it was Wednesday) and the kids went to bed.

A while later, in the night, Dirk leaned against Jake's chest, smiling.

"Hmm?" Jake asked.

Dirk sighed, happily.

"We're doing a pretty damn good job as parents." Dirk said.

Jake smiled and lay there with him.

"Yeah. We are."


End file.
